I wanted to find something to write about that if you read it you would think I had some really high IQ or something. And if you just read that sentence you would be thinking, 'umm....yeah?' I tried reading some others people's blogs, but most are about families or haven't been touched for months. I have to laugh and wonder 'Hey, where did you go? I was just getting to know you and you left me.' It's almost as if I had a bad date or something.
So tomorrow I have a date. I am looking forward to it because I like the guy even though we are totally opposite. I am music, he is sports. I like Disney movies, he likes old westerns (yes, all the way back to John Wayne and his damsel In distress--I used to pronounce it Damsel in Dis Dress, it sounded funny).
To me it is interesting how different woman and men are. I live in the central part of the U.S. and it seems men don't care too much about their looks compared to if they were on the coastlines. I live in farm country where the only thing to really impress in maybe a cow or a field of something or other.
Anyway, not that long ago I got my hair cut because it felt awful and looked awful to me. Now I have my license in cosmetology and know that most guys here cut their hair for comfort: longer hair in the winter to keep warm and shorter in the summer to keep cool. Soon after I also colored my hair. My normal color is a dirty mousey looking blonde and I like more of a reddish color. It makes me feel more: more vivacious, more independent, sexier, and stronger. I have recently started putting on makeup a bit more often for the same exact reason. I got asked why I was wasting so much time changing who I was, when actually I wasn't changing at all. I explained to this person that sometimes I would like to feel better about myself, I want to have the feeling that I am that 'more' factor that I crave to be (sounds like a chocolate craving), but the fact is that I wasn't doing this to impress someone other than me.
I see teenagers today trying to be what they are not. I understand they are trying to find themselves because I have been there, but sometimes it is interesting to see to what lengths they will go to find what they need. I have, however, been seeing more girls trying to be something they are not to impress a guy. Let me just say that if I knew back then what I know now, I think my life would be a bit different. Maybe I would be a bit stronger instead of skeptic about if I am ever 'good enough' in what I do or who I am. I was so used to being the fat girl and I think this label may have taken over me sometimes.
I'm not really obsessed about stuff like that, but I still like to be MY best. If that means a little hair color and makeup, then so be it.
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