Some days, more so lately, I have to remind myself to just keep moving. There really isn't anything that completely sparks my interest or gets me completely passionate. I thought maybe I could find a person who could make me feel passionate. I had a couple of people who inspired me and somehow they left. I guess that happens once in awhile where a person serves a purpose and time tells you that there is something more exciting coming your way. I guess at this point I need to be patient.
I tried online dating to meet people. I also did it out of curiosity only to find out so far a confirmation that sometimes some people DO only want one thing. I am actually okay with this because I am a strong believer in trying everything if you have the opportunity. I am trying my hand at writing a book while I take a couple weeks off from school. My mind has been full of scholarly information that my imagination kept running into a brick wall. So now I can read and do some writing. My goal is to have the book out by my birthday, which establishes a bit of time, plus the help from a friend.
Maybe we just need a little time to step back and hope we do not fall in the ditch again no matter how wild the ride. Maybe we just need to separate from people to get back on our feet. Maybe I should stop saying "maybe" because I sound like a dork in my head. Ok, I laughed and I hope you do too. To everyone, Sweet Dreams.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Self-preserving apathy
Apathy:
-Adsence or suppression of passion, emotion, or excitement
-Lack of interest in or concern for things that others find moving or exciting.
-Freedom from emotion of any kind.
Self-preservation:
-preservation of oneself from harm or destruction
Recently a friend gave me these two words. I had not really heard too much about them or at least the first one. I recently stopped caring about a lot of things and people. I want to know why a person should waste time on something or someone that would not waste the same amount of time on said person? I can see investing into something that has potential, but if you know something is not going to last then why bother?
This sounds cold, I am fully aware of it, but I guess I am a bit more cautious where I invest time, effort, or even money these days. For instance, if you disappear from a person's life and that person does not notice why would you sit and pray that person notices you are missing or why would you bother that person trying to gain the person's attention? If the person does not want to give you attention do you not think you are worth more than that person's ignorance?
So what if a person, who has ignored you for sometime, comes back to your life deciding you are worth that person's time, why would give the person a chance to let you down again? How do you tell someone, "I'm sorry, I do not care about you, I do not want to know you, and if you disappear it will not make any difference in my life at all"? That is the coldest thing I have ever heard in my life. Actually it is the coldest thing I have thought of and typed.
Sometimes you have to grow up and prioritize what is important in your life. Is it important for me to wallow and wait for this person to miss me or is it important for this person to compete and try to hurt me? On both occasions I would like to say "no." Life should be an enjoyable experience. I know there are tough times, but you can also learn from mistakes enough to not walk the same road twice, right?
In the midst of making a mindful worthwhile choice I delete any emotion and move on. Life is too good to waste on a rotten egg anyway.
-Adsence or suppression of passion, emotion, or excitement
-Lack of interest in or concern for things that others find moving or exciting.
-Freedom from emotion of any kind.
Self-preservation:
-preservation of oneself from harm or destruction
Recently a friend gave me these two words. I had not really heard too much about them or at least the first one. I recently stopped caring about a lot of things and people. I want to know why a person should waste time on something or someone that would not waste the same amount of time on said person? I can see investing into something that has potential, but if you know something is not going to last then why bother?
This sounds cold, I am fully aware of it, but I guess I am a bit more cautious where I invest time, effort, or even money these days. For instance, if you disappear from a person's life and that person does not notice why would you sit and pray that person notices you are missing or why would you bother that person trying to gain the person's attention? If the person does not want to give you attention do you not think you are worth more than that person's ignorance?
So what if a person, who has ignored you for sometime, comes back to your life deciding you are worth that person's time, why would give the person a chance to let you down again? How do you tell someone, "I'm sorry, I do not care about you, I do not want to know you, and if you disappear it will not make any difference in my life at all"? That is the coldest thing I have ever heard in my life. Actually it is the coldest thing I have thought of and typed.
Sometimes you have to grow up and prioritize what is important in your life. Is it important for me to wallow and wait for this person to miss me or is it important for this person to compete and try to hurt me? On both occasions I would like to say "no." Life should be an enjoyable experience. I know there are tough times, but you can also learn from mistakes enough to not walk the same road twice, right?
In the midst of making a mindful worthwhile choice I delete any emotion and move on. Life is too good to waste on a rotten egg anyway.
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