Three of Life's Considerations.

In the last month a few thoughts, statements, or dare I say "theories", have been tossed my way leaving me to reexamine the time that has passed.  Obviously a new year is about to start and I am taking the necessary typical precautions to hash out mistakes to improve upon because we all know that is what we are "suppose" to do; however, something feels different this year.

1)     Sporadic choices.

         This year I came upon crossroads only to repeatedly bang my head against the sign (about a million times) before I sprinted down the path I am currently travelling.  You see, life supplies a safety net and safety bars for you to grab indicating you are in the right place at the right time and when all safety features disappear you grab onto the nearest rock on the cliff, from which you are dangling, and make the choice.  Do I let go and jump to the unknown below or do I play it safe and climb up to the top of the cliff? (Giving that I know how to rock climb, which I do not at this time.)  So me, have a bit of a rebellious personality, let go.  I let go of all security measures, praying that at the bottom I would not die, that I was making the right choice, or even that there was the inevitable “something more” waiting for me at the end. 

          Let’s just say, I will let you know when I get to the bottom considering my questions have yet to contain any clear answers.

2)       Be the change…

          I am sure many of you have heard the saying “Be the change you wish to see in the world” in reference to a quote by Gandhi.  This quote has been stuck in my head for some time for a few different reasons.  One, apparently the New York Times published an article stating that Gandhi was misquoted, which makes me ask if any “quote” is actually a quote at all considering how literature is rewritten and people are misunderstood. (Anyone remember the ‘telephone game’ from grade school and how one message got misconstrued?). 

          Two, I do not think ‘change’ is the word I would use.  What happened to inspiring someone?  Like, “I want you to do better.  I want you to take this idea and run with it.  I want you to grow from this experience.  I believe there is more to you no matter anyone else’s doubt.”  I try to believe the best in people and have felt that sometimes I might be a stepping-stone to greatness because I push and I challenge people.  You want someone to be the devil’s advocate?  That is right, look at me, right here, BRING IT ON!!  For me, when I invest in a person or I tell that person I believe the individual has more to offer, I would hope that person takes this as a great compliment considering it is rare for me to put forth any effort in something/someone.  In time you realize the things that need an investment, given the opportunity, and you realize when you are just wasting your time by how much that individual is choosing to invest in you.  I question a couple recent incidents and if I am wasting time, but my belief is always that ‘time will tell’.  I just wish I had a bit more patience if not a preview into the future for delegating such time.  :P

3)       Life sucks.

          I do not know about any of you who just read those two words, but they provide me with a giggle and a bit of acknowledging truth considering the person who recently made the statement.  I think this is out of context as well.  The proper way to look at it is probably best stated in the 90s sitcom Boy Meets World, which is a realistic point of view of a title if you think about how we live our lives, but the statement of truth is that ‘Life is tough, get a helmet’ (Grier).

          There are two ways to look at this statement.  One, personally I am a bit of a klutz who falls walking, so I might need the helmet along with knee pads, elbows pads, and while you are at it…just wrap me up in bubble wrap.  Actually, delete that last part because I would then fall on purpose to pop the bubble wrap, but you get my dementedly twisted ideal train of thought.  Two, yes life is tough unless you have purpose.  I have made my own purpose.  I am not living for myself anymore, but for others.  I wake up in the morning and try to find something that I have not done or tried, partially because it makes for a great story when I do something completely awkward.  Whether or not this can be accomplished or not is a different story, but then I like to find something new to experience in the people around me.  Life is an adventure to which we offered only so much, that if we choose to let opportunity pass, we lose out.

          So what do you do when…

          …a person’s grocery bag breaks and the contents are spread all over the floor?

          …when a man cannot get his scooter through the snow because someone did not scoop it in accordance with city regulations?

          …when an elderly person engages in conversation with you, of what you view as nonsense, because the person is lonely and sometimes we all just need to talk?

          …when a person needs acknowledgment because the individual feels invisible to the rest of the crowded world?

          …when you are given a choice and do not take a risk?

So where does all this leave me?  Exhausted!  One of these days I will, again, be able to just let go and trust that in my new environment I will be caught because it takes a lot to hold everything together.  I will hopefully, once again, find that one puzzle piece I have been missing instead of just going through the motions because I feel that is what I am to do.  With big risks, they say, come big rewards (not to be a pessimist, but so come big losses), so onward I proceed finding adventure in the nooks and crannies that are commonly overlooked in the first place.

Grier, Emily. Everything I needed to know in life I learned from ‘Boy Meets World’. 19 July 2011. Web. 21 December 2015.

MORTON, BRIAN. Falser Words Were Never Spoken. 29 August 2011. Web. 21 December 2015.

Not What It Is, But What It Could Be...

Everything is never as it seems and yet it is everything it is meant to be, everything you wished for and nothing at all.  Confused yet?  Let's just say some inspiration came in the form of New Year's Eve, which you could say came a little early while the concept was boiling into an explosion that seems to be bursting at the mouth with the intent of a "fresh start".  

A "fresh start", a concept that sounds a bit like I am talking about produce with the initial term "fresh" although takes a turn to define something to be newly created.  Many lessons have been learned in the terms of the 2011 and 2015 standings, but my forevermore eternal optimistic outlook is still in a thirst for something MORE.  There are many things in life that I have yet to accomplish, experience, explain, or tell a story about with great exaggeration in a highly animated persona.  Is it sad to want everything and then some?...and maybe a little bit more?....ok, still not satisfied. :D (Talk about greedy).

The movie New Year's Eve reminded me of another favorite of mine,  Under the Tuscan Sun. A divorcee moves to Italy, establishes a home where she wishes for a wedding and a family.  What does she get?  She gets her wish even though not in the form she expected.  The neighbor kids get married in her home and her best friend moves into the house with a baby, establishing a family.  Michelle Pfeiffer and Zac Efron reflect upon two individuals whose lives come together with odd obligations.  Pfeiffer requests that Efron, a messenger boy, fulfill her "to do" list before midnight when the new year commences.  In less than a day she wants to accomplish things such as "save a life" or "travel to Bali".  I will admit here that I love Efron's character, who is able to think outside the box beyond norms and able to give Pfeiffer what she desires.  So how does one travel to Bali in less than a day?  Efron finds a spa with a similar experience that if a person were to travel to Bali.  How does one save a life in less than a day?  Efron has Pfeiffer adopt a dog who would have otherwise been put to sleep.

Then question then remains, how do we accomplish our goals when it seems like the world or even fate is against us?  We travel to New York City to watch the ball drop on New Year's Eve!  Wrong!  We think outside the box!  I guess my plans for the upcoming yearis to try as many more new things as possible, visit my possibilities, expand my horizons, and in all aspects be gracious for the time allotted for adventure...

My Superpower of Invisibility

A superpower?  Me?  I regular human and I have to make a point that I have this extremely rare superpower of invisibility.  It is not the superpower I would have chosen, technically, but I try to embrace and harness such strength in such a mortal superpower.  

So I bet you are curious as to how this superpower of mine works?

It is actually quite simple and basically about perspective.  Generally, the power of invisibility may bring to mind Susan Storm Richards, better known as Invisible Woman from the Fantastic Four where, if you have seen the movie, Jessica Alba becomes invisible to the point of where clothing is an issue.  Nope! Sorry!  Not that type of power or vulnerability for that matter (I would like to prevent nightmares than create them). If you are a bit younger, you might remember Violet from the Incredibles where the guy she was crushing on never seemed to notice her, yet he sensed her.  Nope! Still not right!  Maybe, just maybe my power works like Harry Potter's "Cloak of Invisibility" where I cover up and am gone.  Poof!  No more me!  Cute imagination, right?  If only it were that easy.  So how does my inevitably courageous and extremely rare power work?  Ever heard of hiding things in plain sight?

The best example I can think of it magic tricks.  Everything is right in front of your face until your attention is misdirected while the "trick" is being performed.  I operate the same way.  Sometimes when I want to disappear I find a heavily populated area and walk around with purpose or as if I have somewhere to be.  People do not notice someone who quickly walks passed them because they are too consumed with their own lives to necessarily care.  The talent begins when you can do this in the middle of group of people know you are there, but do not "know" you are there.

At times I find myself in a group of people, I do not seem to fit in, I am not talking because I have nothing to contribute, so I quietly slip away.  Most of the time no one notices.  Sometimes I wish they had, but other times I slip away because I need to leave for my own sanity allowing me a bit of empowerment.  Why subject yourself to an environment where you are uncomfortable and technically no one notices if you are there or not?  The empowerment is created by taking control of the situation and removing yourself from the uncomfortable environment or for me lately...randomly wandering around the mall until I cannot stand the multitudes of bodies consuming all the oxygen to the point where I cannot breath. :P

Is there a point to this? No, not today.  Maybe someday down the road it might just become the notes to an incredible story of a girl who inspired something beyond amazing, but then, considering the path of some writers, I might have to die first which to me would be similar to that power of invisibility again, only in a different aspect.  For now, I will come an go as I please, noticed or unnoticed, and see where it takes me.  Will I inspire another...or maybe I will just inspire myself?

P.S. Remember Superheroes, no capes!-Edna 'E' Mode

Games vs. Truth: The Opportunity of Choice

The inevitable love letter, the proclamation of desirable commitment, the unattainable fairy-tale, and the yearning for the triumphed conquest of the underdog.  So why do we continuously seek out this companionship, in representation, knowing very well the curse that bellows from the bottomless pit of risk?  Why do we repeatedly inflict this emotional self-mutilation upon ourselves only to endure the childish games of adult adolescence in fear of truth?  What happened to the existence of honesty, direct candor, and the understanding that not all puzzle pieces click together?  If such case existed with the fear of provoking pain, why not utter truth as it is the deception that causes more pain out of disrespect?

Maybe I am some kind of joke, but I would rather be exposed to the truth than deceived by lies or even silence.  Unfortunately, I am consumed by the misfortune of ill-fated ignorance of an incoherent thought leading only to confusion with the naive victim left in complete bewilderment.  

So the question then arises, to which truth shall be followed?

Perhaps there is no answer to the problem, but yet a resolution lying in the choice of prevention  to walk away or as I refer to it, "going off the grid."  There is no need to subject yourself to the power of another, by which "walking away" allows for self-control and choice instead of hanging onto those 'what if' questions you make your own answer.

By choice, you had a chance and did not take it without realizing that life does not allow for 'rewind' or 'do-overs'.  For this, I pity you, the one who now lacks control, for now all you have is the leftover crumbs of greatness and the rot beyond insanity that dwells in the void of unfinished business.  I pray for mercy upon you as the once established hope no longer exists as an entity of worth, but an attribute of shame as it is annihilated from its very essence, one so pure that it is inexhaustibly misunderstood.

So I look at you now with the augmented understanding assimilated to the phrase "Fuck You" as I recognize the actuality of something almost inspiring as a piece of me still defends the ever-ending hopeless attraction with the utter farewell.  However, the unfolding truth that hope is for the fool, while the determination for fulfillment is for the insightful, realizing that waiting for a response is not as effective as ascertaining one's own intentions.

~Thank you...