Chasing chickens

When I was younger and lived on a farm my family would go to the neighbors and help them butcher chickens.  Now if any of you have done this before you will know that once the head is missing the rest of the chicken continues to go, which could possibly scar a young kid for life at this point. Just kidding. I remember trying to run from the body that somehow knew where I was going and also when I was taking off the feathers how the neighbor made the chicken jump to scare me.  I know it was all in fun because I loved to eat chicken and I remember those neighbors being fun to visit.

I think back a bit to how determined that body was to continue even without the head.  I know this is a little morbid, but sometimes you have to think of the fun memories in your life to give you gas to keep going.  They have all these sayings out there to encourage or motivate people like, "If life gives you a lemon, make lemonade," but what if you don't like lemonade? 

I believe we take the path we are meant to follow and on this path we may fall or stumble along the way. As alone as a person may feel in hard times, they  are not alone completely.  There is strength in numbers no matter if its people or even just things that make you happy like a memory, or even a hobby.  I know that there is a purpose and until that is fulfill you are not going anywhere.  Just keep in mind every cut or bruise heals, every story has a happy ending, even it you have to climb that hill and fall a few times.  Don't forget to tell yourself and others...I'm fine, thank you for asking.

(sings in her head) 'I'm a big girl now.."  :D

Deception.....and strength

Deception: To be false to

Strength: The quality or state of being strong


I know you must be thinking 1 of 2 things on here. 1) That is a weird start 2)Um ok????  I have recently found out that the two walk hand in hand.  I don't know about the rest of you, but I have been taught not to lie.  I have also been taught that if you make a promise you are to keep it, but I also learned a new lesson thanks to one of my cousins. 

When I was younger I felt that some of my family members 'shunned' me (my sister and brother) because we were a result of a divorce.  I have always tried to keep my Christian faith, but it has been hard considering most people who declared themselves 'Christian' were very judgmental or hypocritical.  If I remember correctly in this religion Jesus is the only one who should judge because he is without sin.  As far as the hypocritical people, well you are human, should practice what you preach by being an example, but I forgive you.  I try not to be in either of these categories and keep an open mind.  My cousin told me something that actually lifted a weight off my shoulders.  Even though I am the child of divorced parents it is not for me to worry about divorce because there is forgiveness and I needed to learn to forgive my parents and the whole situation.

I talked to my cousin more that night about life and to be honest it was the most enlightening conversation I had in a long time.  I cried while I typed her because she was going to forgive me for something that I did not want to do, something I had been raised not to do, but something that if I didn't do it could kill me inside and maybe out.  You see people do not deserve to be lied to or cheated on, and like I said a promise is a promise. 

A lie does not hurt just one person, but it does keep growing and growing like they show in 'Veggie Tales.'  There is no getting rid of it and by the time you think you can, how does a person know that you are not just going to 'cry wolf?'  I have been battling with these thoughts for a couple weeks now (hence not many entries lately).  I'm trying to figure out the thinking in a process such as this.  Why would you want to hurt someone in such a way that in the end you are ultimately just going to hurt yourself?  You can't win a war like this.  There is a reason that in the end of a story good always triumphs over evil.

I just pray for strength, a little hope, and maybe some faith that could potentially heal.  If you have any input or advice please feel free to comment.  I just pray to find my way in a lost world right now.



Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow, or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always. 
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you the most,
you have not been ther for me?"

The Lord replied,
"The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints,
is when I carried you."

"What if life is a dream and when we die we wake up?"

I received this tweet on my twitter account today and thought it was an interesting account. First, it is a deep thought and I like to make people think a bit and provoke my own thought as well.  Second, it reminds me of the matrix.  I know that sounds funny, but think about it.  What if the Matrix is actually real and we are not actually living, but somehow in this fake world with the view that this is what actually exists.

I am a bit sleepy, so my thought process is a bit deep.  The last couple weeks of my life have been a bit hard.  Probably more hard for JUST me than anyone else potentially involved.  I sometimes wonder when bad stuff happens if I am actually dreaming.  The sad part is why would you dream something bad, unless it was going to turn out good. Still shouldn't you have good dreams period?

What if this was truly a dream and the reality is where everything is good?  What if we have life backwards and a nightmare is nothing to fear, but to embrace and it is the dream we should fear?  What if we don't actually exist period?  I sometimes wonder about "beginnings" and "endings." Why does everything we have and hold have both these parts? 

Unfortunately there is no mechanical reasoning and no proof that specifically says "THIS IS REAL."  How do you feel living in this uncertainty?  I guess since I have no control over it I don't mind it, but some days I wish were a bit better than the others.  I hate negative things even though they do not exist without a positive.  Funny how life works always with two different ends.  No black without white, hot without cold, etc.

What else doesn't exist without the other??????

The "diaper bag"

I was thinking, oddly enough, about diaper bags.  I know this seems to be a weird thought or even a random thought on a Sunday afternoon. I thought about how diaper bags hold everything a baby needs: diapers, toys, bottles, wipes, etc. 

Now let's grow up a few years and think about this a bit further.  Isn't a purse like a diaper bag?  It holds your billfold, keys, and anything else you may need for the day.  So why don't we call a purse and adult diaper bag?  Well, it's probably because we may not need the diapers anymore, but technically isn't it the same idea?

I warned you it was random.  I was carrying something for someone and the fact that I had to carry the necessities for this person made me think about diaper bags and carrying necessities for babies.  Ah, randomness, it's where we thrive. :D

Til Death do us part....

What does that mean exactly 'til death do us part?'   It means you will be with someone until the end of time, yours or theirs.  What does that mean in today's society?  It means 'until I'm sick of you', 'until you don't do what I want anymore', 'until i have no need for you', or even ' until I find something better or makes me feel better.'  I may be a bit old fashion, but I don't think some people understand what it means to work at something.  I think I remember there being a saying about something being worth it if you had to work hard for it, but I can't remember exactly how it goes.

I recently became a bit curious about weddings and their origins.  Through many articles I understand that due to religion and the beginning of Adam and Eve we are to unite in pairs.  Most commonly marriage was a union for reproduction or creation that was sealed with a kiss as if in a contract from one spouse to another.  Each culture differs from one to the next including arranged marriages, dowries, and other traditions. One tradition that changes slightly through the cultures yet remains the same is the rings.

The ring is the most famous wedding symbol and the most common. In early times in North Africa along the river Nile the fist rings were once fashioned.  Most commonly made from papyrus and either twisted or braided together to form a circle.  Not only is the ring itself a symbol of marriage as are the parts of the ring.  For instance, the circle that a ring is shaped in is to symbolize that of time as in eternity.  By putting on this ring you are accepting the promise that follows '...til death do us part.'  The middle to which your finger enters through the ring is a symbol for the gateway or door to which you are entering marriage, a new life. During the ceremony the ring is then put on the third finger on the left hand more popularly know as 'the ring finger.'  It was once believed that this finger was directly connected to the heart through a vein or artery thus sealing the promise to love.

Many superstitions evolved through the years concerning marriage, more specifically the ring.  I believe that 'the ring' is in fact the MOST important part of the wedding.  It is a promise to love, it is a reminder (like if you were to tie a string on your finger) of a commitment, it is  a privileged gateway to be with your spouse, and unfortunately to most these days....is decoration.  Think how many out there have commited to removing this emblem.  I was taught that once you make a promise you stick to it.  I guess I can't understand how something so eternal could have an end.