Humble Labels

Recently I spoke with a friend of mine and this person triggered some anger in me that made me ask myself why I was friends with someone so arrogant and yet so ignorant.

This friend told me a story how the individual’s looks changed and all of a sudden the friend was getting, well, more attention than usual.  The friend droned on a bit and with each word coming out of the mouth on the other side of the phone, I could feel my anger grow. 

You see this person had also recently talked to me about labels.  Labels, in this conversation, referred to sexual orientation or reference any other prejudices that exist and this friend expressed not wanting to be identified by a label: ‘I am more than just [a label].  I am a person.’  Well, that is all true, but when a person becomes so narcissistically arrogant about looks or about weight, is this not taking away a person’s humanity the same way as if a label were applied?  Now instead of being associated with any of the titles above, the friend made a personal label of being ‘just a shell’ and not a person.  To me, this is a contradiction of an arrogant fool. 

Twenty-four hours later and I am still bothered by this to the point that contact with someone like this is actually damaging to any relationship because judging on one aspect of a person is not actually knowing the person as a whole. I am a female who is attracted to males, I am considered in a race defined as ‘white’ even though ‘white’ is not ACTUALLY a race, but I am also a daughter, a sister, a writer, an English graduate student, etc.  Wow!  Look at how all those labels made me a complete person.

As I continued to steam about what I now considered to be a ‘stupid friend’ (haha….another label), I thought back to a childhood movie I loved and still love to watch every now and then.  The movie was 3 Ninjas Knuckle Up.  In the movie, the boys are trying to be heroes, but instead become cocky because of their talents as ninjas, which make the grandfather angry.  The boys protest, saying they were just helping others, while the grandfather states they only did it to help themselves.  The grandfather points at a flower saying, ‘Now this, is what I meant by a correct path for a ninja…See these beautiful flowers?  You must learn to be like them.’

What does this mean? It means, listen to the flowers and listen to what they say.  The boys answer this concept at the end of the movie by realizing that the flowers say ‘Nothing.  They don’t want to show off how pretty they are.  They just wanna be pretty.’ 

No one wants to be known by ‘just’ a label and no one wants to be known ‘just’ by looks, so my question to everyone is, why put yourself in that box? Why decline one label only to embrace another that makes you even less of a human/person and just the shell of one?  Maybe I am ignorant, but I have never understood why I have to have a certain look to be worth something, then again that applies to all labels as well.

So to this friend of mine:

Learn to love yourself as a person and not a label especially if you want someone else to love you and not your label.  A relationship does thrive on looks because looks fade.  A relationship does not thrive on your sexual orientation, your race, or any other potential prejudices because it can only thrive on the person, the personality and if you do not have that…well, let’s just say you won’t survive any relationship you desire and for that, I feel sorry for you.

The Jigsaw Puzzle of Connections

Connections, associations, and relationships are what embody every aspect of our lives, which led me to the thought that science has forever proven, that all living organisms are connected in the same aspect as how every part of our bodies are connected.  I know this is nothing special nor is it a new concept, but it is one we do not consider often in our lives.  Most of us, probably like me, just mosey on through life minding our own business until we have a moment where we realize it is a small world after all.

Cheezy, I know, but hear me out. If we are all connected by six degrees of separation, does this not mean that we should be able to find each other and find that key element in a person that we so strongly desire.  

With that said, I recently went 'hunting' for that special element that gave me this feeling of being complete and lucky me, I found it. Six and a half hours of stimulating conversation with relatable topics and challenging subject matter, but then I do not know what happened because that key element disappeared with no explanation as to what would provoke such a negative response.

Many times people will look at a situation similar to this and wonder 'what did I do wrong?' when really they should be asking 'was I too right?' and although there is no jigsaw puzzle piece in that very specific spot, I feel touched at the experience even though I am disappointed it is gone.  You see, I believe that when something is truly worth it, you hold onto it, you fight for it, and you do not let it go.  I tried to hold on, in fact, I went looking for it only to end up face first into that metaphoric digital wall.

I may not be a Private Investigator,  but for now I will just smile as I move forward to my freedom because I got a taste of what my wild heart desires.  Now as I journey forward, I may hope a bit for that one jigsaw puzzle piece to come back into my life because it inspired me and I miss it, but maybe all I needed from the piece was to know that there is still hope....even if it is in a different country and reachable by a few hours. ;)