About ten months ago, a friend of mine needed to lose some weight for his health and he succeeded, but his mind changed in how he saw people and more specifically food. When he talked, it hurt me because he could not empathize with those who were overweight, even though he was there only months prior, and it not only annoyed me, but angered me feeling as though he was attacking me for being fat. Now I brought this to his attention knowing and agreeing with his answer that it was my own inferiority blocking my path, as well as his cocky ignorantly arrogant attitude. So with my own pain I focused on something my mother had taught me and repeated often in my life which is, "If you don't like something, change it." Simple, right? Not so much, but I was afraid I was going to lose a friend if I did not change because I would not be able to keep up with him.
So to start, I changed my mind. I began by setting goals for myself that were obtainable and I could be proud of with my success. I realized that for me to begin I had to get up and move around, which of course took time away from other things in life. Sadly, some days it seemed to take more work just to get started, but the fact is that I realized this struggle telling myself, "If you just do some walking today you will have made a difference," which it did. This thought was actually motivated by a video a friend had posted on social media of a man's journey to better health. The man started with yoga, so I kept it simple and concentrated on just getting myself to move whether it was the elliptical aiming for ten minutes at first and then increasing over the next few weeks, walking, or even increasing my flexibility through yoga. Eventually I lost my first five to ten pounds. I knew that if I was going to continue I needed to amp up my process, so I set a new goal including more time as well as incorporating healthier foods into my diet. Now I could go on a tangent about food, but for the sake of this entry, I am going to digress temporarily as changing one's body is beyond just food and exercise.
Over the next few months, I discussed different techniques to better my body with my ultimate goal being to run a 5K. My mother encouraged me to complete a 5K telling me I could walk it and still feel successful, but I told her that was not good enough being that in my eyes it was too simple and I needed a challenge to motivate me. I picked up my momentum and focused, which if you knew me is hard since my mind wanders constantly about random things and how that moment of running could be used for laundry or school work instead, but I had to change my train of thought once again. What was I truly doing in those minutes? Why was I viewing this as a waste of time? I thought it was a waste of time knowing I could be doing other things, but taught myself that like the finance world, I was investing in myself for the future. That is right; my trip to better my health soon became a metaphoric banking investment that I was determined not to lose interest in.
Now if you must know, this journey started around Thanksgiving and Christmas, so you can only imagine how hard it was to choose to ignore all the good cooking and baked goods. This does not mean that I did not eat anything at all, but made choices for smaller portions or even sharing desserts just to have a taste of a holiday goody. I hate to say it, but on a journey like this, a person needs comfort and unlike some people, I did not revamp my diet to exclude ALL goodies. Instead, I embraced them as I incorporated them into the rewards to my goals. I carried this motivation into the new year investing in a scale that calculated more than just weight and a Fitbit, which gives a numerical estimate of what my produces. I bought these because I wanted to see how my numbers worked and how to readjust them as needed. I will admit that I became a bit anal retentive by tracking what I eat, how many steps I take in a day, how many inches I lose on any part of my body, my weight, etc., but I needed those numbers like steps to the top of a ladder to see that my small goals were being met on the numerical aspect.
My new year was going well until a very unlucky day, March 17 St. Patrick's Day, I was let go from my job due to downsizing while I was away on vacation. I panicked about everything from food, to money, to bills. So I turned my focus to my health and pushed myself a bit further since I really had no other choice. The weight continued to go down while my body began to tone up with muscle allowing me to do things I had not done in a long time and not be scared of them in fear of hurting myself. Walking became my new friend as I would invest hours a day, with no job, to freeing my mind while I absorbed the outdoors. I lost forty pounds walking in a couple of months. I monitored my steps with goals to outdo the day prior, but my biggest accomplishment was not allowing my emotions to dictate my eating habits. If anything the scenario improved it, giving me time to focus on what I was actually eating giving me opportunity to revamp my eating habits and foods that I craved. This actually set a new goal for me in sharing my experience with others, leading me to apply for a fitness instructor position. I was not completely qualified with physical certification, but the passion to share the knowledge and experience I gained did qualify me. I now want those certifications in addition to everything else I have gained.
To this day, I have lost at least seventy-five pounds and continue to lose with the understanding that some weeks I am going to plateau and others my weight number may not change because I toned up my muscle to lose inches on my body instead. I also need to acknowledge that my health has been an issue and the product of peer bullying since my early elementary years that I now see how it feels to be in the healthiest shape I have been since my teenage years (and it only took me twenty years to figure this out). My friend, whom I mentioned before, would monitor his progress through the BMI scale and though I keep those measurements in the back of my head, I know and understand that those numbers are unrealistic. I have seen too many people compare their health to that scale only to see them end up hospitalized because it was actually not a healthy measurement for their body. I, however, measure my body by numbers and correlate those numbers into what I see and how I feel that day in my own skin. Again, most of this begins in the reprogramming of your mind, but it also takes a lot of heart. Not only is your heart the engine for your to do many physical activities, and keeping you alive, but you need to be passionate about yourself. To think, initial intention was to impress and attract a boy, but became a journey where I realize I deserve much more and better than him. Mainly, I deserve me the inside that is now being reflected more on the outside each day.
So for those of you who continue to ask me how I did this, well I learned to focus and value myself a bit more than I had in the past. Instead of completely putting all others before myself, I learned to include myself because I am no less than anyone else. So if you are reading this, I hope you understand that there is no proper education in the method of my madness even though learning from others and what works for them can also be essential and effective in motivation. Start simple until you are comfortable because once you are comfortable, you need a new challenge. With that said....Anyone want to go for a walk?
