It has been over a month since I last wrote on this site. I lost a bit of my imagination, creativity, and my characters died. In short, my class is kicking my ass to the point that I did not want to write anymore.
The English language (and classes) have always been tough for me. To put it in perspective, I think I was getting a better grade in my Spanish class than English class at one point. The terms change meaning with every sentence, with every placement, and with every speaker and yet I pursue to become a Master at this oddity. Why? I am one to take risks, challenge the rules, jump into the deep end of a pool cold turkey, and conquer any of my limitations. I hate being shoved into a box of structure. How can I "think freely" if you control how I am to think?
Frustration is my enemy and became an accessory to the murder of my characters (unless I can dig them up from the sand). My class is/was not going as I desired. My characters became "flat" and "uninteresting" while I mentally began to breakup with them. That is correct. I figuratively walked away to let them drop dead. Sadly, for the sake of the class, I have to revive the zombies. I asked my professor if he had ever walked up a sand dune:
You start at the bottom of this big hill of sand excited at the thought of reaching the top, but with ever couple steps, you fall back one. It is annoying, frustrating, and drives a person nuts. The sun beats upon you as you try different method of climbing by using your hands or digging your feet deeper into the sad until you are a bit exhausted. You the stop to sit in the sand, which is burning your ass since it was heated by the sun, and try to figure out a new plan of attack.
Well, I told my professor that with this class I was stuck sitting in the sand (and no my bottom is not raw from the burning :P). After admitting that my characters were dead, my professor advised me to go play in the sandbox. I do not know if this was intentional or not, but considering the above it made sense. Maybe I need to add water? I could try to build a sand castle, but then I might need to add a bucket. My sand has not become a stone yet, which is why I am performing CPR or just plain resurrecting zombies of my characters. Is it just me or does everything seem to begin and end with sand here? (sand, sandbox, zombies?)
I guess it is time for me to format my sand...
