The next topic is closely related to the last entry. I would say it's like twins, they are so close to being the same, but unfortunately have their own personality. It's honesty.
I go back to a few memories back to my college years at Augustana. I was young and passionate about music specifically performing it. I wanted to belt out the notes to an audience as if to mesmerize or hypnotize them. Unfortunately, with as much practice as I could squeeze in I later found out that be best was done in the shower behind the curtain alone with myself. You probably ask why? Let me tell you.
During my lessons my instructor repeatedly had to tell me to be honest, to be vulnerable, to be naked as if exposing myself to others. This may seem like a simple idea, but it harder than it looks. In today's world you see stars and celebs who open their mouths and think how beautiful that sound is that is pouring out. What you don't understand is that this is them, their personality, this is who they are.
As I continued onward I was not able to expose the real me. I didn't want to know anyone or to have anyone know me because in that time of my life I was terrified of what people would think of me. Tell me, do you think you could stand in the middle of your town or city naked for everyone to see not taking into consideration the law factor? I could not. I was ashamed of who I was and possibly who I was to become and this is what came out in my music as I sang. I may have sang my heart out, but my heart was scared and would have rather hid itself from the rest of the world.
So, we all know that I am not a famous actor, singer, or performer, but I have learned a little more about walking tall and accepting who I TRULY am. Before I could not expose everything that is inside me and as far as singing is concerned I may never be able to tell all. Now writing is different because I can expose myself while hiding behind myself. Why should I be anyone, but me?
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