Mind over heart

Today I had an eye opener.  I had someone call me a cold hearted bee with an itch.  I will not lie, but I was actually flattered.  For once I started rationalizing things in my head before following my heart. 

I am normally a person who puts others before myself.  I think there is good in everyone and when someone proves me wrong I have this bad habit or addiction of taking that person back into my life.  Recently I have learned that people do not change when they do not want to nor do they see what is right under their nose.

There was this guy in my life who I used to like at one point in time.  I allowed myself to give into my addictions and fantasize who I thought he was only to find out that I was never good enough for him in 'that' way and he like any other male in my life preferred a woman of lesser qualities.  So in recent events I find out things have not changed except my outlook.  I do not care what others think of me except those who are close to me.  I do not care what others are doing except those close to me.  I am not going to feel anything for anyone else than for those who have already earned those feelings.

To some this is hard to grasp because my heart is cold.  You do not understand.  I never want to feel pain in my chest so harsh that I feel I should rip my insides out for relief.  Right now I forfeit the option.  I will not allow mind games to control me anymore.  Many have referred to me as a wild Mustang that cannot be trained and maybe I am, but if that is what prevents any painful feeling then so be it.

I would like to give a yell out to my friends from my past trip.  My heart is always with you guys.  You know my past, my present, and my future.  You know my dark side and the angel that sits on the other shoulder.  You know where I come from and where I am going.  You understand that life is just a big aventure like a kid in a candy store and we should not waste it.  I love you all so much.

So what may you ask is my point?  Listen to your mind so you do not pick up the trash and if you happen to find a real gem, hold onto it with your heart before it is too late.  To a specific person...take it slow or walk away, what is it worth to you because I am not going to be the scapegoat anymore?


"In a relationship both must have mind or both must have heart, not one of each"