Many of you who read this actually know me. You are either friends of mine or dear family members. Unfortunately, some events happen in our lives where people become, what someone told me, as situational friends. I am not a "situational" type friend. I make friends for keeps and make sure they know that I care about them. I am afraid to say that someone else had a different plan in mind.
I am going to start out by saying I feel bad about this situation. There was so much misunderstanding and I am going to clarify my side. I know 'you' will not read this, why? You stopped reading it a long time ago, when you changed.
When a person loses who that person is as a result of someone else I feel sorry for that person. I have been there...twice now. I was there with my ex. I had to be prettier because I was already smarter, but I had to be dumber so he did not feel emasculated to have me at his side. What does this have to do with the friend? I was the 'dumb' one. If I said something it somehow became wrong and this other person knew more on the topic, thus being right. I remember asking why I was worth being friends with if my intelligence did not compare to this other person's intellect. I was told that everyone knows something that someone else does not know and when the time is right the information is exchanged. Okay, so not in those exact words, but I am sure you understand. So I asked the loaded question, "What have you learned from me?" Can you guess the answer? It is not quite as hard as you think. The person actually said nothing, that is right, completely speechless. I had figured out that we were friends so this person could talk and I could listen. I am a good listener, but I like to talk as well.
I also like to listen music, specifically piano if not hip hop. Did you know I play piano and I like to sing, not only in the shower? Was I able to tell this person that? No. That person did not want to know anything about those interests. You realize that is where part of my heart and soul lie. Those two things are what I grew up with, lived with, cried with, coped with, etc. For someone to come along and criticize them is like taking a part of me away (not to mention the crass remarks of how masculine I am, how I must be a lesbian, or informing me of how I just was not good enough). When was I going to ever be enough just by being me? It is amazing how many people cannot answer simple questions like the ones I have asked here.
There was an issue of a lie that broke us apart, which of course in most cases is followed by a 'I did not lie' rebuttal. Then answer me this....when you said you would run after me and not let me go, where are you? When you said you would check on me later to see if I was alright, where are you? I'm still waiting, but you have yet to talk to me. Is that not a lie also?
No matter what happens, I did learn some lessons here. I also get to rehash the good times that were had by the both of us with only one regret......The Ward.
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