Today I spent an afternoon at a roller derby boot camp. I will be honest when I say that I am not light on my feet, I lack balance, but the main thing is I do not trust myself.
I know I have trust issues, but until this practice I never realized that I had trust issues with myself. We were working on stops and the one I was working on at the time was a tomahawk. In this stop you turn around and stop on your toes with one foot in front of the other. A lot of my fear had to do with balance, but my feet would end up close together which would actually make me unstable. To have the "teacher" tell me that I need to trust myself felt weird. I thought I knew all of what my body could or would do.
So training continues and another Vet tells me the same thing, "Trust yourself. Your body will stop. Your body knows what to do." Really? Are you kidding me because my kneed right now says otherwise? I had twisted my kneed a couple weeks earlier and am just waiting for it to go out again and tell me, "Sorry, you can't do thing, but it was fun teasing you about it."
My goal this week is to learn my balance and hopefully develop a trusting relationship with the rest of my body. "Hello Knee. I know you are down there and feeling a bit tender, but I need you to catch the rest of the team {my body} when I fall so I can keep going. I am counting on you because I know how strong you can be." Silly sounding, huh? Reminds me of the Little Engine That Could. I need to remind myself, "I think I can, I think I can."
Trust is not always for or based on other people, although some people do not deserve to be trusted. These types of people can make a relationship toxic, but trusting yourself should not be this way. Hopefully by next practice my body will decide to team up and work together because if it doesn't then we are going to have to take a time out for a pep talk. :P
No comments:
Post a Comment