Some Bit of Understanding

I will admit that in some posts I poor my heart out because I am passionate about the topic I'm writing about at that time like the post I wrote a few days ago about changing my heart, which then lead to some criticism initiating a post that the only thing I have right now is writing.  I believe that for writing to be effective a person has to write honestly and with passion, so with that belief I practice what I preach giving up a bit of my heart even though I do not have much of it left these days.

With life every changing, there is comfort in finding understanding for another if not acknowledgement.  In the course of saying 'see you later' to my friends as I journey on to relocate, I came across an amazing person who almost brought me to tears.  As we sat there having coffee, I listened to the stories this person told appreciating the bravery to open up and be vulnerable because honestly, this is one of the only places where I am purely vulnerable and open a bit of my soul.  The stories continued and I felt that something more was speaking to me through this individual telling me that I am not the only one with regrets or the feeling of being broken.  Now I know I am not the only one to feel certain ways, but it is hard at times to find someone at THAT specific moment in which those feelings exist.  

After our visit, I walked away in deep thought of the things we discussed, appreciation for the subliminal message received, gratitude that this person is in my life, and admiration for this person.  Admiration for guts to keep moving forward and guts to hold onto some things I recently gave up, like the dream of hope and a fairy-tale.

Apparently there is some message going around and leading me down a specific path of healing because I found this article, which made me think 'I acknowledge these things differently and get condemned while this person on a site that is probably more recognized as a professional blog.  I was almost hurt because of the feedback on my one post, but after a couple minutes I was more pleased to have a little bit of my lonely feeling acknowledged and that someone else could write about a condemned feeling.  Like the author, I understand that I must go through these feelings and the pain that breaks my heart with the inability to know what about the friendship was real or what parts were meant for me and what parts were meant for someone else that were expressed to me, which is frustrating as right now I could use that friend while at the same time I want to forget all those moments that meant something to me considering they may not have been for me.  Confused yet?  Yeah, me too.  I can only trust time now to see if I truly held any significance or, as someone asked me yesterday, if I was just being used.

With every step, with every change, and with every momentary feeling we eventually learn that it is something we must endure and not to sound trite, but we are human.  The greatest gift you can receive though, is someone in some form to hold your hand because then you are not alone.

Now....anyone need a coke and a mint?