Wasted Memories?

Today used to be a special day as I would spend my Saturdays with a friend of mine, which was significant to me until I found out that those same memories meant nothing to this person. Now I just want to forget the memories I made.  Sometimes I would just like to say, 'You know these memories I made?  You can have them because I do not want them.'  I know that could be hurtful for someone else, but when the memories hurt, you really do not want to hold onto them. 

Nowadays I sometimes regret allowing myself to save specific time for this person, open up to become vulnerable with this person as far as I did, and allow certain feelings to form towards this person.  I will say that in the past I know I have told this person that I wish I did not care about the person as much as I did, but I could not control that completely.  The big thing about these moments is the connection that brought us closer than normal friendship, but was special because it was our own friendship.  Sadly, I was never good enough and the memories not important enough.

I then ask myself, what was real and what was fake?  What was meant for me or just meant for someone else, but given to me because I was there?  And then, what was just transferred and based on our friendship now, what else is just transferred?  Pretty soon you start to question the actual friendship with which you made your significant memories.  

You cannot be good enough for everybody, 

but you will always be the best for the one who deserves you.

So since I do not what is real or what really existed, I do not know if I want to keep these memories or just erase the last years we were friends.  It seems easier to just get rid of the memories as it makes the pain from them hurt less.  Guaranteed I lose a bit of love and caring, but that seems to be a minor sacrifice at times.

Memories are wonderful to make,

but sometimes painful to remember

It is said that time heals all wounds and to an extent I know this is true because for me the theory of 'out of sight, out of mind' seems to work as a band-aid until I scar over.  Dragging something out is pointless and accomplishes nothing.

To Erase Painful Memories:

After the cruel memory is seen and said,

erase these thoughts from my heart and my head.

Maybe it is just better to list the confusion of these memories and everything associated with them like this:

Some memories never fade.

People say that bad memories cause the most pain,

but actually it's the good ones that drive you insane.

My worst enemy is my memory

So what do I do with these memories? Give them away?  Erase them? Suppress them? Throw them away? What?  For now, I will just let time tell and see what happens because that is all I can do.  Did I waste time making these memories?  Did I waste time on this person?  These memories  could eventually end up being trash or treasure.  Guess I sit back and enjoy the ride......or at least this beautiful rose picture to the right as it is a love of mine <3


P.S. This may a bit excessive, but for once...I was a bit at a loss of words and everything included helped me do so.