Today is technically my day off, but I was going to go into work some overtime. I never made it. When you have been sick and realize you overworked your body you take it easy until it is time to continue at full speed again. Instead I procrasinated from my school work by cleaning my neglected apartment which gave me time to clear my head a little before I could write things down.
I have had my head full this week and after awhile it blocks my ability to function. I would compare it to a car with only half a tank. Anyway, I have been thinking about The Ward again. I think it is because I want to get away, run away. I go through this cycle every so often, but instead of speeding to the next town I went back in time. A story started to play in my head with the ballroom again. It would be a great place for me to just sit and write. Travelling back through time and space, leaving my seat behind me would be exactly what I need right now. I put on the corset, the layers to my dress, the heels, the expensive jewelry, and become what society wanted me to be at that time. I transform into the quiet lady that knows all. She is not suppose to have power to change the things around her, but in her own manipulative way she seeks revenge and corrects the wrong doings around her. As I write this, I can feel the passion boiling in my chest.
Once my time travelling ends I return to the present. A discussion with a friend this week made me think about forgiveness. I understand pain, confusion, misunderstanding, but that does not mean due to these things you should not forgive a person. If a person did not forgive because of these things there would be no one worthy to be in that person's life. To be honest, forgiveness is not for the person who did the wrong deed, but for the person he or she did it to. Let me just say if I did not forgive the people who have hurt me in the past I would be a rather angry person and to carry such anger can only kill a person in the end. It would be like purposely committing suicide from the inside. I have felt that before and it is not something I ever want to feel again. Forgiveness is a gift and to throw it away is shutting yourself off to living life to the fullest extent. Maybe I am wrong, but for my life this is what is right for me until it is proven otherwise.
So now that forgiving is not the burden I can go kick some bum. (yes, I would have used a stronger word, but for this it is appropriate). I want to be someone else even if it is only for a short time. I think about the show 'Alias' that starred Jennifer Garner. I do not even know where to go with this thought because I am still stuck in a time warp from before.
I think I am going to include some inspiration in some entries, meaning songs. Below are some songs that helped my thinking process. Enjoy.
'Save You' by Simple Plan
'What If' by Simple Plan
'Craving' by T.A.T.U.
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