The last couple days I have been a bit distracted. I had wanted to talk to someone, but it seemed no one would listen. So I do what I do best, write it down.
Tonight as I listen to the Goo Goo Dolls in the background I think back a few months when I met someone who I connected with right away. We are a lot alike except I had a parent who loved me and he obviously did not.
I remember the first meeting. Somehow, he just spilled everything about himself to me and about his life. I loved how he could make up his own songs on his guitar, but what probably most attracted me to him was his passion. I have not found many people who are purely passionate about things in life. Until he got in trouble we would talk for hours about anything and everything. The only setback was that he is a bit younger than me.
This guy was the son of a former friend. Unfortunately, when she was his age she was doing the same things he was. I guess I never completely understood the need for drugs, sex, and alcohol to make yourself feel better, but I understood a need to need. I remember one particular night. We had a very serious conversation and he had told me he had no one to rely on in his life. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I should not have done what I did next. I think it did make a difference in this young man's life though.
I gave him my phone number and told him to call anytime he ever needed anything. After I became firt on his list to call. There were calls for rides from work, to help with his girlfriend, or even just to talk because he happened to be going through something and no one else would listen. There was a time when he was at the fair early in the morning. He had text me asking me to join him. Without hesitation I left even after I had gotten 2-3 hours of sleep.
I continued to follow through with that promise. I had never made a promise like that to anyone ever. This past November my friend was to be sent away. I do not know if he was sent away, but he did disappear that is until Tuesday at 1am. I received this random text that brought tears to my eyes. I had missed him so much and he had missed me just as much. Life is tough for him now because he is paying the price for his wrongdoings. It makes me sad because I had an influence on him to try to change and just when he thought he had a chance this happened.
During our texting time I told him to hang in there and when he reached a stage where I could write him I would. I wait for this time. He knows I care, actually more than his neglectful mother. I still have not left his side even though I feel very helpless right now.
Dear D,
I still believe in you and always will. You know where to find me.
love, IVS
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