Am I Really That Stupid?

Tonight I was asked what I viewed to be the most astonishing question that made me rethink some things I have thought or even felt myself. My coworker asked me very blatantly "Am I stupid?".  My jaw dropped out of surprise as my mind quickly raced realizing I have uttered those same exact words.

First of all, the sentence itself it completely vague and subjective, yet society understands all too well.  To answer properly, what does stupid  mean?  What does smart mean?  What is? and then, Is intelligence universal or is it specified?  

Second, I have asked this question to a friend of mine who I once thought was intelligent, which I defined by "a person who has a lot of knowledge in diverse areas and a lot of experience."  This person brought to my attention the vagueness in the sentence also, giving me some perspective.  A person may be intelligent in an area or on a specific topic, but actually being smart is knowing how to apply that knowledge you have accumulated.  In this case, the friend, whom I put on this intelligent/smart pedestal, has since fallen.  The friend is intelligent in that this person can probably read a book and remember the content with ease or remember events with a "date stamp," but applying this information to what could be identified as "common sense" reflects the defined term of stupidity.  Yes, I said it and I have said this to the friend before.  This friend is the dumbest smart person I know.  Confused yet? Let me explain.  No matter how much information this person obtains in the brain, the person does not seem to know how to apply this knowledge to life and, in my humble opinion, screws up.  It is like the person got the wiring mixed up with all that knowledge and it short circuited.  Some of you may think I am mean or heartless for saying this, but I have told the friend this stuff directly and it is actually constructive criticism.  Now whether any lesson is learned is an understatement.

So now we have the information to analyze the concept of "Am I stupid?".  The term stupid and "smart" are truly antonyms defining the speed at which a person can process information and apply it whether quickly or, well, not so quickly.  Intelligence involves the information you have learned or have been taught.  Generally, stupid is thought to be the opposite of our defined term of intelligence, but the opposite of intelligence is closer related to being "inept" or even ignorant.  So stupid is a lack of keenness of the mind while smart is the presence of keenness of the mind.  Whereas intelligence is obtaining knowledge, ignorance is lacking the knowledge, inept is without the skill set for that knowledge, and yet commonly the opposite of intelligence is referred to as stupidity, which is the condition of stupid and not the true opposite of intelligence.

So now we see where our confusion lies through all this misinterpretation or misunderstanding based on the limited knowledge of our personal experiences, but my friend was correct in that intelligence itself depends on the topic.  For example, I may have decent, if not significant amount of knowledge on English (because I freakin’ over analyze what everyone around me is ACTUALLY saying), but I do not know a lot of information about the detailed workings of computers.  Now, am I stupid?  No, because I utilize other concepts that transfer from one topic to the next and can apply them to my limited knowledge in such cases and the details of computers.  This is true for any and EVERY topic in the world.  You cannot be a genius about everything and if you ask me, you cannot be a genius or expert on anything because there is always more to learn.  Information does not just die or end, so how can a genius or expert exist?  That is a whole different topic, but still!

For fun, and because I am in a bit of an inspired mood, let’s do some intricate word play:

Ignorantly smart: (conundrum?) A person who lacks knowledge, but has a keen mind- Question: Can a keen mind exist without knowledge? 

           Question: Can concepts and logic be applied without knowledge? (knowledge is probably too general in this instance)

Stupidly smart: (I have actually heard this used and it is funny because how can a person reflect both the existence and lack of a keen mind?)

Intelligently ignorant: (Again, I have heard it used, but we are talking about acquiring knowledge while we yet lack knowledge?-Lack the ability to acquire knowledge?- Acquire the lack of knowledge?)

Stupidly inept: a person who lacks a keen mind and any skill (Ouch! Double whammy on that one.)

Intelligently smart: a person who can acquire knowledge and apply it (Um, hello? Yeah, I’m right here. Look at me…. Just kidding)

Ok, so I had some fun of how I view words while yet probably annoying anyone who just read this. : P  So the question remained, “Am I stupid?”.  Taking in consideration all of the above:

-vague defined terms

-personal experience

-personal knowledge

-maybe a bit of empathy

-mixing pot with some salt and pepper. Do not forget the mixing spoon because this gets messy mixing with your hands and Voila!

Answer: Are you nuts?  You are just having a bad day :D

I should soooo be Sherlock Holmes through that deduction and KEEN wit of an answer.  (I crack myself up sometimes).  None of that matters though.  The thing that matters most is my interpretation and how I utilized it to show the coworker that the person’s conception of the sentence was complete in the analyzation of the question itself.  In short: My coworker smiled and continued on with her work with a bit more confidence.<---That’s all that ever counted anyway.

The Maturity of Admitting When You are Done

Done-to be finished, a past participle...

There is a point where a person has to let go because wasting time on one thing will not end well.  For me, saying 'I am done,' usually associates with people.  I like to believe the best in people and I hope for the best for all of them, even the ones I do not like, but for some reason I have trouble letting go of them.  Part of that is a fear that if I walk away they will just let me, not caring that I am gone, which is really an indication they did not care in the first place.  The other part is the desire to help or be there to support others, which sadly you can only do for so long until you lose yourself.

Never choose someone who needs to think twice about choosing you.

As I got older I came to the mature realization that there is more to life than standing, waiting around for something to happen that is inevitably never going to happen.  You cannot make someone want you, but that does not mean that when they leave you for something you have to be there to pick up the pieces if it does not work out.  I did this once in the last couple years.  A friend developed what I like to call the 'ooooo, pretty shiny' syndrome and left me in the dust for the new 'thing.'  Unfortunately, the new 'thing' did not last long and the person expected me to be there to pick up the pieces.  It was like, 'hey, I'm going to try this one thing temporarily, but I expect you to wait here for me.'  I hate to say it, but my life does not stop because you told it to wait.  I have dreams too and they are not going to be accomplished if I keep sitting around waiting for you.

So at this age I have learned not too tolerate too much.  If something is meant to be, it will happen.  If someone wants you, that person will make it known.  If you are important to someone, that person will fight for you.  I came to a point where I am done fighting for something that keeps walking away.  If I was really wanted in the first place, there would be no walking away.

Follow your brain.  Your heart is stupid as shit.

Well, the 'ooooo, pretty shiny' syndrome has invaded my life again and this time I am not sitting around to find out what happens.  I am going to move and find my heart's desire in writing or even travelling.  I do not want a small entity of the world.  I want the whole thing.  I want to experience as much as I can.  So tonight I make a bucket list in the small attempt as my first steps of walking away from the thing that deserted me.  Should it come back, then I guess I have a choice to make if it is worth fighting for a third time, no excuses.  No 'if you were a friend you would understand,' no 'you are just doing this to get back at me,' and no blaming me because you screwed up and you know it.  These are demeaning statements and do not progress beyond anything, if anything they push away and add distance. (This is almost where I dare suggest reading Tabatha Coffey's Own it!, which should be a book about the common sense of taking responsibility, but not everyone understands the concept let alone either concept separately).  

Tonight, chapter one, goal one........get to sleep with no tears of the pain this person has caused because that person is not losing sleep over it and then start tomorrow anew knowing how you have harnessed your past strength that will be applied to your future.  Part two, begin the list to your future and go for it.