How Six Minutes Can Affect Your Life Part 1: The event

Despite the title, the whole event took at least a week and proceeded for a couple hours one day.  I scheduled an appointment in May to fulfill a goal on my bucket list to go skydiving.  I wanted it to take place during the month of May because it is my birthday month, it is the month I lost someone very dear to me, and the month that held my wedding anniversary.  (Note: All these happened within two weeks of each other, but during different years).  All around, it is a month I felt I needed to prove something.

I waited all month with anticipation, not feeling any fear of the potential risk.  Finally the day arrived.  I was pumped, I was psyched, I was let down.  Why?  Damn Mother Nature.  Apparently, for visual safety, it is illegal to skydive through clouds (Who knew?).  And here I thought that might be cool in a cartoon-ish sort of way (flying cupid?).  Thoroughly disappointed, I rescheduled for what I had thought was the following week only to realize it was the coming Saturday, which then turned into Sunday.  Do I have to mention that a part of me hates clouds only for the aspect of rescheduling?  

Evidently, Sunday was my third scheduled appointment (and unfortunately a new month) making a realistic "third times a charm".  Lucky for me, things went more smoothly because I had already gone through the initial training, warnings, and signing of losing any legal rights (basically, you know the risk you are taking, please sign and initial that you understand via this legal text).  

For the purpose of this blog, I will refer to the two men with me on my journey as Mr. Black and Mr. Blue (Okay, that just rang funny in my head after the fact of typing--my apologies...not really).  Mr. Black was my jumping partner and Mr. Blue was my camera guy.  I had met Mr. Blue during my initial appointment, so I felt comfortable with him from the start.  Oddly, I was a bit nervous with Mr. Black, but mind over matter I had to extinguish those thoughts quickly.

After getting strapped up and professionally violated with the biggest safety wedgie, Mr. Blue did my initial interview.  What are your thoughts?  What are you excited about?  Are you sorry you had to spend the day with us nuts here? I had to cock an eyebrow on that last one.  Obviously Mr. Blue did not know me very well.  Ha!  I must have been a little nervous because as I watch the video now, I could not be a bigger goober...but I'm okay with that.  (embrace the weird)

The experience as a whole was amazing with a high value of knowing how many people do not get this opportunity.  I was fine during the plane ride and then during the falling part of the jump, which felt like I was sitting in a baby swing.  My slap of reality was the first step outside the plane where the wind grabbed me a bit and I had to trust that Mr. Black had me secure.  I think the real expression that slipped from my lips was "Oh shit!" as I quickly ran through the typical thoughts questions.  What am I doing?  What am I thinking? Wait!  I must turn back!  I still have time to go back (exit second leg out the airplane door). There is no turning back!

It is funny though how our approach/viewpoint to life is reflected in the things we do.  Five years ago I stopped turning back from things and decided to face them realizing the value of risk, taking chances, and walking into the unknown. Life seems to become more rewarding doing the unexpected, not to mention bragging rights. :P

At the end the question is always asked: Would you ever do this again? (Many of you will not be surprised by this answer) Frick ya!  I think the question to ask yourself is why you would not take the opportunity.

For more information to obtain your own thrills, please click HERE and enjoy the ride!

The Maturity of Admitting When You are Done

Done-to be finished, a past participle...

There is a point where a person has to let go because wasting time on one thing will not end well.  For me, saying 'I am done,' usually associates with people.  I like to believe the best in people and I hope for the best for all of them, even the ones I do not like, but for some reason I have trouble letting go of them.  Part of that is a fear that if I walk away they will just let me, not caring that I am gone, which is really an indication they did not care in the first place.  The other part is the desire to help or be there to support others, which sadly you can only do for so long until you lose yourself.

Never choose someone who needs to think twice about choosing you.

As I got older I came to the mature realization that there is more to life than standing, waiting around for something to happen that is inevitably never going to happen.  You cannot make someone want you, but that does not mean that when they leave you for something you have to be there to pick up the pieces if it does not work out.  I did this once in the last couple years.  A friend developed what I like to call the 'ooooo, pretty shiny' syndrome and left me in the dust for the new 'thing.'  Unfortunately, the new 'thing' did not last long and the person expected me to be there to pick up the pieces.  It was like, 'hey, I'm going to try this one thing temporarily, but I expect you to wait here for me.'  I hate to say it, but my life does not stop because you told it to wait.  I have dreams too and they are not going to be accomplished if I keep sitting around waiting for you.

So at this age I have learned not too tolerate too much.  If something is meant to be, it will happen.  If someone wants you, that person will make it known.  If you are important to someone, that person will fight for you.  I came to a point where I am done fighting for something that keeps walking away.  If I was really wanted in the first place, there would be no walking away.

Follow your brain.  Your heart is stupid as shit.

Well, the 'ooooo, pretty shiny' syndrome has invaded my life again and this time I am not sitting around to find out what happens.  I am going to move and find my heart's desire in writing or even travelling.  I do not want a small entity of the world.  I want the whole thing.  I want to experience as much as I can.  So tonight I make a bucket list in the small attempt as my first steps of walking away from the thing that deserted me.  Should it come back, then I guess I have a choice to make if it is worth fighting for a third time, no excuses.  No 'if you were a friend you would understand,' no 'you are just doing this to get back at me,' and no blaming me because you screwed up and you know it.  These are demeaning statements and do not progress beyond anything, if anything they push away and add distance. (This is almost where I dare suggest reading Tabatha Coffey's Own it!, which should be a book about the common sense of taking responsibility, but not everyone understands the concept let alone either concept separately).  

Tonight, chapter one, goal one........get to sleep with no tears of the pain this person has caused because that person is not losing sleep over it and then start tomorrow anew knowing how you have harnessed your past strength that will be applied to your future.  Part two, begin the list to your future and go for it.