Dear Jiminy, I Stopped Believing in Fairy-tales....

You ever have those moments or days where suddenly everything that you once knew seems different as though you are seeing it for the first time?  Ever wonder if that moment is suppose to be 'eye opening' or 'eye closing'?  Ever wish you could go back to the way you saw things before your figurative eye sight change?

The first movie I remember seeing in the movie theater, even though my mother would beg to differ, was The Little Mermaid.  As a little girl I remember wishing my eyes were blue and sparkled like Ariel's, that my voice was as mesmerizing as hers, and that I would have a prince to be as passionate about as Eric.  I remember wanting to be her so much that I would practice my scales the same way they are sung in the movie, but even though I was nothing like her I still imagined myself as the star of my life, beautiful and precious in every way and that everyone should treat me as royalty.  Reflecting on this thought probably makes me appear that I was a spoiled brat, which I probably was until I prayed and received siblings, but in the mind of  a growing imagination my thoughts were positive in the idea of placing value on myself.

Later Disney produced the movie Beauty and the Beast, which has since been my favorite movie.  Why?  Because we can all identify with Belle and the Beast.  Some days I wake up and I feel ugly and crampy like the Beast while other times I still believe that some day I will be a princess.

It was not until a recent feeling of apathetic healing that the chant, 'I do, I do, I do believe in fairies,' entered my mind in the voice of a child and soon....it was gone leaving only the adult voice saying, 'Life is not a fairy-tale.'  This thought came to me in front of a mirror and as I looked up I could have sworn I saw the once glisten of a twinkle disappear into a tear.  My apathetic composure had suffocated the childish hope right out of me.

I began to think about the chant that entered my mind, which stemmed from the 2003 version of Peter Pan starring the blue-eyed cutie Jeremy Sumpter, and realized that my belief of a world imagined is not necessarily the avoidance of reality, but the hope and prayer of possibilities.  The fairy-tale of every Disney princess is to find a prince or find someone to share the journey and the story of your life.  The fairy-tale of Peter Pan or Robin Hood is a possibility of adventure, fighting for something better than what currently exists.  A fairy- tale exists exists to inspire that there is always something to reach for, something beyond what ever is in front of us, and the possibility of 'reaching for a star' to become something magnificent.  Do I still sound like a dreamer?

Possibilities.....hope...they start to blend together if you think about them too long until the existence of apathy moves in.  It does not mean you lose your imagination, but it does mean the temporary ending of the vision of possibilities.  I guess this is where I lost my original 'eye sight' wishing I could turn back time to once again avoid reality.  The only thing left to say is......Dear 'Jiminy', I stopped believing in fairy-tales the way you wanted me to......

The Desire of a Wish

This week many changes occurred as I now set into action my plan to move away from place that has never really felt like my own home.  Although, I feel this was a step in life that I needed to take, so now that I have conquered it is time to move on and progress, which can be scary to many people.  I have recently come across the idea that the wants, needs, desires, obsession, or even passions that people have can be difficult to obtain as there is a fear that sets in with the potential of paralyzing a person with the realization that taking this risk and betting on the life you want may leave you with nothing.  It is basically like gambling only I feel that losing your life is more of a risk than losing money.

I was watching the 2006 movie The Devil Wears Prada that stars Anne Hathaway and Meryl Streep with a character portrayal of Anna Wintour, because I felt I needed an empowerment movie.  As many of you may know, Andy Sachs desires to be a journalist in New York, so to find a path to that dream she applies for and gets a job at Runway, a fashion magazine that is head by Miranda Priestly.  The path to Runway seems unlikely for a young girl uninterested in fashion until, with a bit of guidance form Nigel, played by Stanley Tucci (who I find adorably appealing in this movie with his witty repartee) learns about the fashion business.  Through his quick tutorial she is introduced the ideas of respecting yourself enough in your professional appears, which reflects upon others how serious you are about your job to earn their respect.  Then that moment in the movie hits the realization of how far a person must go to sacrifice one's self to obtain the ultimate desire, Nigel's infamous quote, "Let me know when your whole life goes up in smoke.  Means its' time for a promotion."  There you have it folks, a brief epiphany of what it takes.  Keep in mind this is focusing strictly on the desire because with that journey comes many additions like relationship, families, kids, etc., but there are still those sacrifices we make with these people along for the ride.  A momentary thought here of a couple friends of mine who recently parted ways...sometimes your life path is meant to cross until you reach that one fork in the road where you part ways for something better for the both of you.

This may sound a bit trite as I just referred to movie-land, but Disney had the right idea and I am beginning to wonder how many people forget the idea of working hard for something versus having it handed to you.  How many of you can sing all if not part of "When You Wish Upon A Star"?  Don't lie to me either because I know you know at least the tune with how many times it plays.  Even in the ideal thinking of a child, Walt Disney instilled that what we want will eventually come to us no matter who we are and if we are passionate enough to do anything to obtain the dream.

Recently I had to make a friend of mine realize this concept.  Around the holidays, specifically Christmas, many people would like the cute cookie cutter family picturesque warm family get-together, but not all families have that option.  I am one of those lucky ones where, when I was younger, my relatives would find a mutual spot to meet up so we could eat, play games, and socialize.  Being a bit older now and that there are more adults to be spread out, it is hard for us to have that mutual time together, but because of the closeness of my family I would not doubt that we all think back to those days for our own personal reasons.  They all hold a magical place in my heart, which I try to make sure they know through Christmas cards that have become my way of 'touching base.'  Well, after they all read this they will really know. [Love you all!!]  The sad part of this is that my friend does not have this, but desires it and in my fairy tale sort of thinking I believe my friend will get the close Christmas that is desired because my friend deserves it. 

Now that I have made this entry overly sentimental, I am obligated to believe even stronger than I have in the past that my fairy tale does exist with all the fine details including a blue rose.  I believe that there is a moment in everyone's life where they thirst for more or believe they deserve better because THEY DO even though it does come with a cost of sacrificing something else.  I may not be the most encouraging person some days, but that does not excuse the fact that no matter how much I try to give up on things or even people, I cannot seem to give up hope.....hope for a miracle, hope for something better, or even hope for something as simple as a better tomorrow.  Maybe that is where our sacrifices become too great, when we lose that hope and maybe our risks become to big of an expense instead of an investment.  My strategic advice? Grab a few friends and family whom you can grab some input and make it your own, only then goal obtained and the path truly yours.