Progression? Development? Advancement? Stalemate.

Tonight someone made a comment that was puzzling in comparison to my experience.  The comment was perceived as though a person needs another person (a relationship) in order to grow or develop. (Takes a moment of silence.....maybe an additional moment for the crickets to stop chirping.)  So let me get this straight.  In order for me evolve I need another person?

I am perplexed at the undefined.  Then there is the question of wants, needs, or desires.  Let's slim this down shall we?

In this context, "relationship" was used in reference to "significant other" and the whole plethora of thesaurical labels that assimilate to the phrase, when in actuality, "relationship" is how two things relate. (Yes, you can smack your forehead now in the "a-duh" moment.)  So does this mean a single person lacks progression? (This is about the time I would walk away from a person shaking my head at the pure ignorance.) NO!  I am single and yet I think I have progressed much further than many individuals I have encountered.  Hell, in the last five years alone I do not think I could even begin to describe the meaning of progression to most.  Progression and development result from a craving of desiring more knowledge complimented with curiosity.  I cannot help that I want to know everything.  I am greedy in that way and damn proud of it, but does that mean I need a romantic relationship?

Now if we redefine "relationship" in the sense that I may need a "partner in crime," then I can see in some situations a "relationship" is needed for progression.  For example, I went skydiving.  Some people are scared of heights, so maybe they participate in a tandem jump to face their fears.  The relationship of the two people for the tandem jump (student/instructor) is one that provides progression for at least one of the two parties involved.

Unfortunately, I am still uneasy about the whole thing. Why?  Progression always starts with the self.  A person will not evolve if the individual does not want to.  A person will not progress if the individual does not feel the need.  A person will become an ignorant fool if a person does not have one of the aforementioned......oops!  Seems my opinionated self stepped in.  

Stalemating is completely frustrating to me.  I see or meet people who say they would not change anything in their lives.  I have had a handful of dates who proclaim their lives are exactly the way they want them, they just need a woman to "fit" into that life.  (knocks on your forehead) Excuse me?  Anyone home?  I am NOT some little woman to FIT into your life.  I am NOT going to just sit tight and make you a damn sandwich.  You have two legs, two hands, and God pray tell half a brain to make your own damn sandwich.  

Enough of my rant.  I think that part of a lack in progression is fear where people tend to curl up in the norm, which is safe.  Personally, I have a hard time understanding safe in this form.  It just lacks excitement.  ;-)

The Desire of a Wish

This week many changes occurred as I now set into action my plan to move away from place that has never really felt like my own home.  Although, I feel this was a step in life that I needed to take, so now that I have conquered it is time to move on and progress, which can be scary to many people.  I have recently come across the idea that the wants, needs, desires, obsession, or even passions that people have can be difficult to obtain as there is a fear that sets in with the potential of paralyzing a person with the realization that taking this risk and betting on the life you want may leave you with nothing.  It is basically like gambling only I feel that losing your life is more of a risk than losing money.

I was watching the 2006 movie The Devil Wears Prada that stars Anne Hathaway and Meryl Streep with a character portrayal of Anna Wintour, because I felt I needed an empowerment movie.  As many of you may know, Andy Sachs desires to be a journalist in New York, so to find a path to that dream she applies for and gets a job at Runway, a fashion magazine that is head by Miranda Priestly.  The path to Runway seems unlikely for a young girl uninterested in fashion until, with a bit of guidance form Nigel, played by Stanley Tucci (who I find adorably appealing in this movie with his witty repartee) learns about the fashion business.  Through his quick tutorial she is introduced the ideas of respecting yourself enough in your professional appears, which reflects upon others how serious you are about your job to earn their respect.  Then that moment in the movie hits the realization of how far a person must go to sacrifice one's self to obtain the ultimate desire, Nigel's infamous quote, "Let me know when your whole life goes up in smoke.  Means its' time for a promotion."  There you have it folks, a brief epiphany of what it takes.  Keep in mind this is focusing strictly on the desire because with that journey comes many additions like relationship, families, kids, etc., but there are still those sacrifices we make with these people along for the ride.  A momentary thought here of a couple friends of mine who recently parted ways...sometimes your life path is meant to cross until you reach that one fork in the road where you part ways for something better for the both of you.

This may sound a bit trite as I just referred to movie-land, but Disney had the right idea and I am beginning to wonder how many people forget the idea of working hard for something versus having it handed to you.  How many of you can sing all if not part of "When You Wish Upon A Star"?  Don't lie to me either because I know you know at least the tune with how many times it plays.  Even in the ideal thinking of a child, Walt Disney instilled that what we want will eventually come to us no matter who we are and if we are passionate enough to do anything to obtain the dream.

Recently I had to make a friend of mine realize this concept.  Around the holidays, specifically Christmas, many people would like the cute cookie cutter family picturesque warm family get-together, but not all families have that option.  I am one of those lucky ones where, when I was younger, my relatives would find a mutual spot to meet up so we could eat, play games, and socialize.  Being a bit older now and that there are more adults to be spread out, it is hard for us to have that mutual time together, but because of the closeness of my family I would not doubt that we all think back to those days for our own personal reasons.  They all hold a magical place in my heart, which I try to make sure they know through Christmas cards that have become my way of 'touching base.'  Well, after they all read this they will really know. [Love you all!!]  The sad part of this is that my friend does not have this, but desires it and in my fairy tale sort of thinking I believe my friend will get the close Christmas that is desired because my friend deserves it. 

Now that I have made this entry overly sentimental, I am obligated to believe even stronger than I have in the past that my fairy tale does exist with all the fine details including a blue rose.  I believe that there is a moment in everyone's life where they thirst for more or believe they deserve better because THEY DO even though it does come with a cost of sacrificing something else.  I may not be the most encouraging person some days, but that does not excuse the fact that no matter how much I try to give up on things or even people, I cannot seem to give up hope.....hope for a miracle, hope for something better, or even hope for something as simple as a better tomorrow.  Maybe that is where our sacrifices become too great, when we lose that hope and maybe our risks become to big of an expense instead of an investment.  My strategic advice? Grab a few friends and family whom you can grab some input and make it your own, only then goal obtained and the path truly yours.