I am afraid time gave me my answer. No magic eight ball. No psychic. No magic. Just a bit of killed hope. I cannot stand by anymore and watch anymore. If friendship resides in the heart and the other person does not have a heart it makes it easy for you to be replaced....and forgotten. I see I can leave now and this person will not care. I can cry and it will not matter. I can sink beneath the cracks and disappear.
Sometimes I wish I could wander around unnoticed watching others. I know it sounds creepy, but picture it as though you are Scrooge watching the present with Tiny Tim. I want to learn from people. Something I wish I could learn is how to kill a heart. Is it possible to just poke it and deflate it?
This makes me think of another friend of mine. She has a heart so big and loves people who do not love her back. I do not understand how you cannot love a person like that. Why do people take advantage of another person? Is this some game to everyone? Do you really feel you have accomplished something?
I'm going to have to rip this band-aid off and cut cold turkey. I cannot do this to myself again. Good bye.
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