Games vs. Truth: The Opportunity of Choice

The inevitable love letter, the proclamation of desirable commitment, the unattainable fairy-tale, and the yearning for the triumphed conquest of the underdog.  So why do we continuously seek out this companionship, in representation, knowing very well the curse that bellows from the bottomless pit of risk?  Why do we repeatedly inflict this emotional self-mutilation upon ourselves only to endure the childish games of adult adolescence in fear of truth?  What happened to the existence of honesty, direct candor, and the understanding that not all puzzle pieces click together?  If such case existed with the fear of provoking pain, why not utter truth as it is the deception that causes more pain out of disrespect?

Maybe I am some kind of joke, but I would rather be exposed to the truth than deceived by lies or even silence.  Unfortunately, I am consumed by the misfortune of ill-fated ignorance of an incoherent thought leading only to confusion with the naive victim left in complete bewilderment.  

So the question then arises, to which truth shall be followed?

Perhaps there is no answer to the problem, but yet a resolution lying in the choice of prevention  to walk away or as I refer to it, "going off the grid."  There is no need to subject yourself to the power of another, by which "walking away" allows for self-control and choice instead of hanging onto those 'what if' questions you make your own answer.

By choice, you had a chance and did not take it without realizing that life does not allow for 'rewind' or 'do-overs'.  For this, I pity you, the one who now lacks control, for now all you have is the leftover crumbs of greatness and the rot beyond insanity that dwells in the void of unfinished business.  I pray for mercy upon you as the once established hope no longer exists as an entity of worth, but an attribute of shame as it is annihilated from its very essence, one so pure that it is inexhaustibly misunderstood.

So I look at you now with the augmented understanding assimilated to the phrase "Fuck You" as I recognize the actuality of something almost inspiring as a piece of me still defends the ever-ending hopeless attraction with the utter farewell.  However, the unfolding truth that hope is for the fool, while the determination for fulfillment is for the insightful, realizing that waiting for a response is not as effective as ascertaining one's own intentions.

~Thank you...

Suppression, a Misinterpreted Language

Every day we try to find answers to questions in order to make sense of our world, but sometimes the answers we get are the ones we hoped we would not receive.  I came across a quote recently that I cannot seem to get out of my head by Alice Cooper saying:

'I try to teach my heart not to want things it can't have.'

How?  How do you teach a heart to want something you did not know it wanted until it actually wanted something?  The only answer that I have personally come across is to suppress or build a wall between you and the heart's desire distancing the two because as you walk further way the heart learns to survive on less with each step in the opposite direction.  Figuratively, I turn around and make one step.  Now the only hold is by the finger tips. Step two through seven, there is no contact except the memories.  Step seven to ten, I let go of the memories, good and bad, eventually erasing them as if they did not exist. Steps ten through twenty, I stand tall and stick that annoying voice of hope that held on to the memories and shove it in my pocket so as not to hear it screaming at me. Twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three,......it starts to disappear, which to some existence could be healthy allowing something true to take its place that wants to be there or for the fact that the extra weight is gone.

I guess at times this is where my hope tests the waters to find the truth until I have made too many tests and my 'water' is gone.  I feel as though I recently came across this fact and moments of irony begin to emerge.

'Are you okay?' leads to, 'I'm fine.'-----> The truth:  I'm not fine, but I cannot let go of the truth because it would hurt to face it.

'Why are you running away?' leads to, 'I'm not running.'---->The truth:  I need to get away.  I need some space from the situation because I do not feel wanted here anyway.

The truths soon become a sentence of opposite with the determination that the actual words mean what is being said.  It is no wonder that things get misinterpreted, but if I convince you of their meaning then I can convince myself of the same forsaken truth.  Guess what?  It does not work right away so to follow in suit I must slowly build my wall one brick at a time and I continue the steps in walking away. As it is said, 'Rome wasn't built in a day.'

Step one.......