Grudges and Regrets

In the last week I have become close to a new friend of mine.  I must admit that I like to get to know new people because I get to learn something new.  You could almost compare it to the idea of opening a present, you never know what is inside or what is going to come out. Eventually you find out what it is that has brought you together.

In both of our lives there have been placed grudges and regrets.  I found it interesting to listen to this friend to realize that a grudge can tear so much of a person's life apart.  You realize that a simple thing can separate a person to what is and what could be.  It limits any opportunity that could make a person great.  A grudge could be like an ultimate sin leaving a person to think back and possibly realizing that they had the choice to move on and are now losing more than what they could have had.

I feel bad for a person like this.  I will admit I am not perfect and have had my share of grudges.  From one year to the next I think I have the right to discuss this because I have been on both sides of the track.  I once held a grudge against a family member that I feel was rightly deserved, but the only person it mattered to or hurt was me. Why?  I have a heart, which to this day is in the process of freezing over.  The grudge did not hurt anyone, but myself because the other part did not even notice that I had disappeared.  Maybe hurting myself was what I regretted the most.

Regret.  What an interesting concept of 'what ifs'? Something people do not learn about this word is that it is deadly and makes you stop living.  You keep trying to turn back the clock that does not exist in such a manner.  I tried to stop this at this point in my life and move forward.  I watch people live in regret.  It saddens me to see how they just STOP.....stop living, stop being human, stop being themselves.

One friend of mine lives here.  I sometimes feel sorry for this person realizing that there is so much more out there for this person, but his/her live is not MY choice.  This is one of those moments where you sit back and force yourself to watch something stupid happen.  Do I want to be there to pick up the pieces at the end? Not really.  I warned this person what will happen, the events are taking place, and when it falls to pieces I have a choice to make.  Do I allow this person to learn a lesson or do I clean up?  This may be a mean thought, but I figure I need to let the lesson be learned or nothing will change.  It was this person's choice to begin with so why should I suffer because of him/her? 

Some days I wish I could save the world from pain.  I would love to be the one to take it away so others could feel what I usually feel because I have realized that a grudge and regret just weigh you down.  They turn your world dark and cloud the simple things in life.  Sometimes I wish people could see things the way I see them and feel what I feel. Inspiration: "Moment 4 Life" by Nicki Minaj.  If you are reading this right now think of THOSE moments.  A smile from a friend, a baby's laugh, a sunset, etc.  Maybe one of you might understand this.  Maybe someone will see something/someone they missed that has been right under their nose.  Maybe one of you will find....that moment that you carry with you for the rest of your life.