The other night I went to a short seminar with Mike Domitrz called, "Can I Kiss You?". The night started out good, partly because at my age I was still able to blend in with the college kids around me. (No, I'm not really THAT old, but old enough). From listening to the crowd, most of the students were there for extra credit in one of the classes while other had heard, "Free stuff? Where? What we getting?"
After a few motivating tidbits from the staff, Mike got on stage, dressed in black, and proceeded to talk about sexual assault. Now, I'm not going to give too much information because you have to see him in person to understand. I can't tell you about my experience in hopes you get out of it what I did, but I would strongly suggest going to it if Mike is ever in your area. What he has to say is real and is serious, but in order for you to listen he does it in a comical way. Yes, there were the serious moments because something like sexual assault needs to be embedded into our brains so we can recognize potential situations and prevent them.
I would like to point out a few things I did learn that night though and share them with you.
After a few motivating tidbits from the staff, Mike got on stage, dressed in black, and proceeded to talk about sexual assault. Now, I'm not going to give too much information because you have to see him in person to understand. I can't tell you about my experience in hopes you get out of it what I did, but I would strongly suggest going to it if Mike is ever in your area. What he has to say is real and is serious, but in order for you to listen he does it in a comical way. Yes, there were the serious moments because something like sexual assault needs to be embedded into our brains so we can recognize potential situations and prevent them.
I would like to point out a few things I did learn that night though and share them with you.
1)Fear stops us from doing what is right. Keep in mind this can be subjective, but you never walk away from a seminar like this with nothing.
Recently I decided to go back to school and get my degree. There have been many times in my life where I have not done something because I was afraid of the outcome whether it be good or bad, how bad would the rejection weigh on me, and if I did succeed what was my next step. So, earlier this year I had things planned out, but unfortunately ran into a bit of a set back. The point is I'm still going minus the setback. I deserve more and have a right to be picky. I may not be THEE BEST, actually I know I won't be, but at least I will have tried and at least moved on.
2)Victims usually don’t talk. Mike had mentioned cops would probably be the last people you go to and discuss sexual assault as a victim. It reminded me of a question I was once asked: ‘Why didn’t you come forward before?’. The answer was simple. What were they going to do exactly?
In a case like sexual assault it can sometimes turn out to be a ‘he said, she said’ game leaving no answer. I don’t know how many of you remember when you were younger and if you had siblings you played this similar game trying to prove your innocence. You never truly won your case nor did you lose it and sometimes you still got the punishment because you were involved. The cops have the same job as the parent, but unfortunately with adults, punishment is not always as clear as when we were kids.
Well, you made it this far and I bet some of you are wondering: "Why would these things stick out?" Let me explain. I am a different survivor...of domestic violence. Yes, sometimes sexual assault and domestic violence walk hand in hand meaning some things you learn from one you can learn from the other. I am tired of watching my back day in and day out, fearing where 'he' might be and how 'he' is keeping track of me. I am also sick, and yes I am going to say 'sick' of being quiet.
For those of you out there who have never had either of the two situations listed above happen to you please read closely: just listen. It. Is. That. Easy. For example if it is your friend who has been sexually assaulted, think of the difference you will make just by listening and acknowledging them instead of shoving them under the bed. Now doing something about it is a different story, but listening is what makes the biggest difference. There are days where I sometimes feel like I'm 2 inches tall in a corner yelling, 'Look at me, look at me.' (Fifty bucks you are picturing yourself that small and hearing that small voice...yeah, I figured so). Lend an ear and if you can do more, take it one step at a time because there is no need to rush things.
If any of you out there are interested in Mike Domitrz's presentation, I did list some of his links below. Again, I would strongly suggest it. I have not read his book yet, 'May I Kiss You?", but I look forward to reading it. I am now at a point in my life where I will...eventually be dating again and maybe this is what I need to have a new and fresh perspective on dating again. I wish you all luck and enjoy. :D
http://www.DateSafeProject.org
www.Twitter.com/DateSafeProject
www.FaceBook.com/DateSafe
www.YouTube.com/DateSafeProject
Well, you made it this far and I bet some of you are wondering: "Why would these things stick out?" Let me explain. I am a different survivor...of domestic violence. Yes, sometimes sexual assault and domestic violence walk hand in hand meaning some things you learn from one you can learn from the other. I am tired of watching my back day in and day out, fearing where 'he' might be and how 'he' is keeping track of me. I am also sick, and yes I am going to say 'sick' of being quiet.
For those of you out there who have never had either of the two situations listed above happen to you please read closely: just listen. It. Is. That. Easy. For example if it is your friend who has been sexually assaulted, think of the difference you will make just by listening and acknowledging them instead of shoving them under the bed. Now doing something about it is a different story, but listening is what makes the biggest difference. There are days where I sometimes feel like I'm 2 inches tall in a corner yelling, 'Look at me, look at me.' (Fifty bucks you are picturing yourself that small and hearing that small voice...yeah, I figured so). Lend an ear and if you can do more, take it one step at a time because there is no need to rush things.
If any of you out there are interested in Mike Domitrz's presentation, I did list some of his links below. Again, I would strongly suggest it. I have not read his book yet, 'May I Kiss You?", but I look forward to reading it. I am now at a point in my life where I will...eventually be dating again and maybe this is what I need to have a new and fresh perspective on dating again. I wish you all luck and enjoy. :D
http://www.DateSafeProject.org
www.Twitter.com/DateSafeProject
www.FaceBook.com/DateSafe
www.YouTube.com/DateSafeProject
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