Patron Etiquette

Many parent with children these days are taking to social media, like Facebook to criticize businesses with service such as restaurants or hotels.  The topic of choice is what the parents describe as bad service not realizing the real issue in mutual respect.

A restaurant, for instance, is a place where people go to enjoy a meal.  Some may be fancy or you could possibly classify fast food in this category, regardless each business deserves respect as much as the patrons that frequent them.  These parents describe that just because they are asked to quiet their child or provide some sort of entertainment for the child that the business is mistreating them.

For these parents I understand your mama and papa bear instincts kick in and you get defensive feelings that no one has the right to tell you how to raise your kids.  It is true no one has the right to tell anyone else how to be a parent unless there is some harm or legality reason to intervene.  However, the owner or manager has the right to request respect for their establishment as well as your request for your respect.

A business is an investment and a life support for those working there as well as the owners who may also have children.  I see on Facebook most of those patrons complaining do not consider this idea.  Well beyond the ownership and financial support, these businesses need patrons, just like you to frequent their establishment.  Did you ever consider that your child's screaming, banging or loud noises may be irritating the other patrons who now either have/will complain to the manager about your child?  Did you think that because of your child’s behavior that the business may lose the business of other patrons?  What if you were the manager and you have five complaints against an unruly child, would you risk losing the five patrons or the one family with the misbehaving child?  I know, who would have thought that your complaint on Facebook was inaccurate because you only thought of yourself and the manager when there are three parties involved?  How rude of you to be so selfish.

Let us take a different angle for the parents to think about.  What if there is a loud obnoxious drunk yelling, being rude to the staff if not crude to them, and banging on the furniture, would you not want the manager to speak to the person about his or her demeanor in that particular setting?  If it were a restaurant, would you not request a different table or even go to the extent of asking the repugnant person to be removed?  Many of you would say ‘yes’ because that person is not only disrupting your meal, but is also an irresponsible influence to your child.  Well, is it not irresponsible of you, the parent, you allow your child to act like the drunk and disrupt the meal of other people?

I guess out of respect for other patrons, who would like to enjoy their meal without the loud noise, I would teach my child some manners and follow through on disciplining them to validate my argument and complaint against any mistreatment from a business.  Without that, a person is just another bias client with sour grapes looking for revenge in the most childish manner and worst example for their children.

The thing is that there is a time and a place for everything and everyone so be mindful of where you take your kids not just because you deserve the rightful service as a patron but because the guy next to you deserves it as well. 

Travelling the High Road

In the last couple days I became conflicted with an issue that distracted me from my everyday normalcy, leaving me to question the true meaning of ethics and who has them.  Let me start at the beginning.

I am currently still in attending school to obtain a degree and in each class we have Learning Teams, which is basically a small group of people with whom you have to do a group project.  Our weeks start from Tuesday to the following Monday when the team assignment is due.  One person on my team took the initiative or the lead to start this week's project and everyone agreed to it, meaning myself and the other two members.  Then on Sunday, less than forty-eight hours from our assignment's deadline, one member decides he needed to change how we were doing the assignment.  I had a problem with this because he did not think his strategy through.  The team member that started the project was busy at work most of the weekend and said she would not be available much to check the assignment online.  The other member was, at that time, in the hospital sick so she would not be checking the assignment often.  I had half of my part done, which had already taken a couple hours and also had other obligations that required my time.  So unless this individual wanted to write the assignment alone he should have mentioned something earlier so modifications could be assessed on the assignment even if he had already agreed prior to what was initially set up.

Here is where my questioning started.  In a professional manner I told him that it was rude for him to change the assignment on the team when people were missing and would not be able to check the assignment to give them sufficient time for them to finish their part.  I asked him next time to change things earlier and then to clarify parts on his changed assignment as I did not understand exactly what he wanted.  Instead he got mad, deciding that taking a personal 'jab' in my direction was most appropriate for the conversation.  Two things popped into my mind after he posted his reply.  One, how is your post following the school's code of ethics? Two, I wanted to know what gave him the right to think that his idea was superior to the rest of the team that he had to degrade members when they challenged him.  I looked up his profile to find he had two BAs, an Associates degree, and a Master's thus far.  I am going to shake my head at this one.

I could have replied immaturely, matching his demeanor and level, but I firmly stated that next time he wants to change things to do it earlier to allow sufficient time for change and quality in the assignment and to clarify his idea.  Instead he digressed and removed his outline/ideas.  The only thought I had was, "How childish?"  

In this scenario, it is funny to me how someone so "smart" could be so "dumb."  Let me try this again, a person who is scholastically intelligent does not always have common sense or common decency.  I would  hope a person of his intellectual stature could have been mature enough to at least said something to the effect of, "I'm sorry this is such short notice.  I would like you to do blah blah blah to your part.  Does that help?"  In a corporate business/organization is that not how a leader would lead?  To sit there and verbally throw a temper tantrum from a person with that much education saddens me.  Just because you may have more scholastic education or more education does not give a person a right to be rude and inconsiderate to others.

The event left me so angry that I discussed it with a friend who gave the response, "Well, remember that as you are soon to be one of those highly educated people [when you get your Masters degree]." All I have to say is, "Yeah and I will be smart enough not to disrespect others, hence I did not insult my team member."  I will say though, sometimes it is hard to take the 'high road.'  At times it can be really steep.

Sexual Intelligence

Tonight I learned a new term: Sapiosexual.  It sounds funny and it looks funny, but in my opinion holds a lot of quality.  I came across this term as I was looking up the possibility that one person's attraction can change based on personality or intellect.  A Sapiosexual is a person who is attracted, including sexually attracted, to another person base on their intelligence.

Now keep in mind this does not mean that a Sapiosexual is not attracted to physical attributes, but it is the mind that is the primary appeal.  I continued my research with nothing to substantiate the fact that looks change based on personality and mind except  from the people I associate with as they are obviously intellectual as well.  However, there is always that one 'mind' that, like the rest of the shallow modelizing world, would rather  be with a person, mainly sexually, based on physical attributes even though there is no intellect whatsoever.  Well, I found one of my friends in this godforsaken category to which I began to swear obscenities in my head because I had always considered that this smart person deserved so much more in life.  Unfortunately, this person just wants another individual to use in comparison so this person appears better than the individual. 

I hate to admit it, but an intellectual person is not a true intellect if you have to “dummy-down” everything around you so you look better.  Honestly, it just makes you look as dumb as the person you are with.  Therefore, now my tune has changed toward this person and I wonder how truly knowledgeable this person is actually.  A person of intellect pursues more intellect to keep growing and learning, so how can this person be sexually attracted to just physical?

I guess my downfall in all this is that I have a brain, I value people with brains, and I do not have patience for idiots, which is rightfully so.  In concerns to my friend, well, I guess I am wrong that this person deserves the best as you will not find the best of something in the shell, but deep inside.  Then again for someone who has only been a shell for many years, inside does not matter.

So where does this leave me, the Sapiosexual who values a mind.  Confused.  I contemplate how much I want to invest in something that will not make me a better person as that is what everyone should look for when choosing to surround themselves with other people. It could be that I have a high opinion and do not want to become one of those people who cannot have an intellectual conversation. I guess the next time I call a person shallow I will have an clearer understanding of what “skin-deep” truly means.

Diets

Today's topic/drug of choice is diets which we all know could lead into a bunch of different tangents as there are so many not to mention how people are probably doing more than one.  Of course diet can refer to what we eat, but when society hears the word diet it is thought of all the special foods that one eats in order to lose weight or be healthy.  Sometimes I wonder why people do not have more willpower when it comes to food, but then I have been on that side of the table...literally.  I have been the large girl all my life and as much as I embrace my personality people usually just see my physical build.  Let me just say high school was hell on earth for this.

Not the point the though.  I have grown up, of course, and become more aware of what I put in my mouth.  I also have to be aware of my mental state while becoming a healthier me as healthy is not just the physical attributes, but the mental as well.  You see, I have an addictive personality and I acknowledge that, but it means that I can become a bit obsessive with things such as weight control.  I have a friend who has the same issue, but sadly my friend has not come to realize when too far is a bit extreme and a person begins to look unhealthy...to everyone.

So while keeping my mind in check I started out small or at least with something I thought would be easy which turned out to be something that is a bit of a challenge.  I began yoga in order to stretch and relax my body while tuning into my mind.  Now I have taken a couple classes of yoga both giving me a completely different experience.  The first yoga class I took was a hot yoga class where the temperature in a small room is heated to 104 degrees Fahrenheit or about 40 degrees Celsius.  The idea behind the heat is to relax your body to assist in flexibility and encourage sweating which will detoxify the body.  My first class worked slowly into each movement with calming music in the background to leaving a person to focus on the stretch.  With each pose my body stretched a bit further than it was acquired to, teaching me that for the ultimate benefit I needed to exhale as I set into a pose or stretched further in my poses. The second time I went to a hot yoga class the instructor did not allow for a stretch and jumped from one pose to the next almost quicker than I could breath.  I understand that moving from pose to pose quicker burns more calories encouraging a bit of cardio, but for those who are looking for benefits that are long term in flexibility and movement would want to practice the slower yoga that concentrates more on breathing and stretching.  The latter one is the yoga I prefer as my body personally feels younger in comparison to years prior.

After I became able to move my body and not feel so stiff I encouraged more cardio.  My preference is the Elliptical as I can read and listen to music as I exercise.  Now using the Elliptical may be a simple way or even boring, but the key is variance.  I started out on manual level one and worked my way up to level five in a matter of weeks and yes I will stress WEEKS.  I learned from prior experience that moving too fast hurts and does not leave long lasting satisfaction.  the next set of weeks after and to this day I do interval training.  A couple minutes at a higher level, a couple minutes at a lower level and I change my resistance with different levels as well giving me plenty of options to not have the same workout twice.

With my workout I have lost over forty-five pounds and am proud of myself.  Now you must keep in mind that workout alone does not make a person healthier nor help a person lose weight.  Let's go into diet should we?  Right now I drink at least half my weight in ounces of water, that means I drink a gallon of water a day (and some days live in the bathroom :P).  It helps control my appetite not to mention that sometimes I am not hungry, but thirsty. I also now eat more vegetables and fruits than I have ever been accustom.  The funny part is some people think that they need to become a temporary vegetarian or vegan to lose weight.  I still like my meats, don't get me wrong, but I also still eat sweets or a bit of chocolate.  The difference in the ability to eat this is that I eat a very limited amount which usually amounts to one small piece of chocolate to satisfy my urge  especially during particular times during the year.  From experience I have learned the depriving the body of certain urges make it want more of the thing you are depriving it from so if you have enough for a taste you can satisfy an urge while still progressing to a healthy lifestyle.

I am sure if you are reading this you have considered vegetarian or vegan diet along with the idea of the Adkins, South Beach, Jenny Craig, and Weight Watchers diet.  I chuckle a bit at these now as I did a bit of research only to realize that when you pay for the food through these venues you are allowing other people to control your portions.  I mean, you paid money for someone else to control your portions because you could not.  If that is what it takes and you can afford it so be it, but I would prefer to use my money elsewhere and control my own portions.  If you want, however, you can pay me and I'll control your portions.  I could use the money ;).

I cannot tell you what to do or who to listen to because I can only tell you what I do and if you want to try similar techniques I hope they work for you.

1.  Find the proper mindset
2.  Start slow.
3.  Find something that works for you.
4.  Variance is key
5.  Learn to control your own diet
6.  Last, but not least....Put one foot in front of the other as the hardest part is starting.

GOOD LUCK!!  

A Brush of Danger

Post of choice for today was a topic that I did not select on purpose, but one reflecting OCD in which this topic was chosen by someone else and I must follow in order.

I honestly do not remember my first brush of danger, however that does not mean that I have not had a brush of danger.  I remember when I was younger ....than I am now that is, and like any other teen I had to go through the stage of being completely and utterly careless.  I remember when my mom bought me my first car and for the record..I did not ask for it nor do I believe parents should do that unless it is a junker since the kids at that age have no sense of responsibility yet.  Anyway, the car was not completely new, but new for me for about five grand.  At the time I was in college determined to get a degree until I was told by a professor that I would not amount to anything in the area I was studying.  I am going to be nice and say "Thank you @zzhole."  What can I say?  I am not mean, but I'm not nice either...just a bit blunt in this situation.

So the professor killed my passion and when I say passion I am referring to the feeling of not loving anything else except that one thing or that one person.  Well, let me just tell you that when that feeling is gone it is replaced with a feeling of loss as if you do not recognize the person in the mirror looking back at you.  I decide that I am here in school to get a degree and a degree I shall earn even if it is in an area of study that may not completely appeal to me, but will be beneficial for my future. Sadly, that did not last long and I left college.  You know that feeling of being lost? Yeah, replaced with failure until my mom gave me an article that discussed how not everyone is made for college.

To be a bit more specific it was an article on how not everyone need the complete four year college experience which is why I soon turned to cosmetology.  I think it was the one thing major in my life that I both started and completed.  However, during this time was when I became reckless.  I was not hanging out with what would be considered the right crowd, my driving record had become a mess not to mention how many deer hit my car, but I was actually lost.

Well, I started this entry thinking that my brush of danger was with the deer, which by the way the car took on five deer before it decided it had enough to which I think a deer hunting license would have been cheaper, but I realize now that the danger was walking the fine line of potentially not finding my path in life.  The funny part is that this potential danger dangles itself in front of you every so often as the moment cycles through your life as if to test you and see what your worth has grown to be in comparison to the last test.  Back then I think I survived...just barely, but now I am being tested again.  There has been a lot of growing up since my deer magnet of a car, but maybe since I was stupid then I do not need to be now. Chaos may follow me at times in my life which keeps life interesting.  I cannot say there will not be trouble, but at the moment I will say that I can take on whatever is around the corner.

  

What now?: Time after comfortable things change.

In the past week I have been asking myself this question trying to figure out what I want to do with my life or probably more what do I want to do when I grow up. Lol  I am currently in a transitional stage in my life which I think I brought on myself with unconscious wishful thinking even though the situation did not allow for me to accomplish what I truly wanted which reminds me of the movie 'Under the Tuscan Sun.'  In reference to the movie the main character is divorced from her husband and she is looking to find a way to move on with her life.  She takes a trip to Italy and finds herself purchasing property in Tuscany.  While the main character is trying to reorganize her life she reveals that her dreams are to have a family and a wedding in her home.  By the end of the movie the main character is a bit disappointed because she does not have a family nor has she been married in her home, yet there is a family in her home including her friend and the friend's baby and the neighbor kids are married in her home.  So she actually did get her wish just not in the form she dreamed it to be.

So as my journey starts on this new road ahead I am reminded by true friends that this is a blessing in disguise even though the fates have not revealed to me the reason or purpose, so I continue to ask 'What now?".  Things are changing along with my views on anything in life and on people in my life.  During transitions like this you are able to see who is going to stay and who is going to go.  You understand why some were in your life and others were not, but then there are those that you wonder why the time was invested.  I try to understand or at least make sense of things even though my mind is a bit scattered all over the place these days trying to keep track of things I never thought I would need to consider.

Eventually we need to leave things behind which I understand, but there are things that I do not or am not ready to let go of because of the impact that has been made upon me.  I would like to think that certain situations would remain until that one moment where you are shown how you are dispensable.  Sometimes those moment come when words or phrases disappear like "I love you."  Powerful words, but in every type of relationship I have from my family to friends to significant others I have learned the power of these three words.  They can make you laugh or even cry, but no matter they contain strong feelings or emotions that change two lives: the person saying the words and the person that the words are being said.  One of my pet peeves is when someone says them and does not mean them.  Another enemy is when a person says them and then takes them away.  You start to wonder if that person actually meant what was said because of how much it meant to you.  The hard part is when words like those or phrases of being in love with someone are never even whispered again as if they never existed.  I do not know about others, but over time I eventually pretend that I never heard the words or phrases so it all just becomes a dream anyway not to mention it hurts less and less confusion determining if they ever existed anyway, not to mention I have learned that if a person cares enough that person will vocalize it and not hold back.

You could say that my comfortable little world has now been changed then and it is shaking me up.  I miss certain things in my life that were taken away, I miss dreams that I now have to face may never come true, and at this moment I miss having direction or some sort of plan as I now just have to 'play it by ear.'  Just following the wind leaves uncertainties that I cannot control which is scary.  Sometimes it is nice to just have some sort of normalcy that glues me to my path so I do not get distracted and fall off course or just a reminder that even though things have changed other things have not.  Either way I am focused on what is served to me taking each changing moment and filing it away.  I guess if we have to leave things behind we were never meant to keep them not matter if they were one of the most important things to us.  Now the problem is learning how to deal with that.....

Why ONE answer?

Why are we always trying to find an answer to questions that may not completely exist?  I know the question sounds weird even though it is true.  I started to ask myself this today as I read my text for my class concerning genders in society.  It troubles me in that society feels obligated to have an ultimate reason for why things are the way they exist here and now.  For instance, one person is attracted to another person for one specific reason. I disagree.  Face it people, humanity contains too many variables.  A common denominator may be found, but then you need to consider the loop holes and the exceptions to every rule which would ultimately re-categorize everything that has been place in group or another.  I refer to this as my “everything causes cancer” theory and no that is not meant to insult anyone nor is it meant to completely be taken lightly.

            A few years ago I remember watching the news where the reporter was delivering a message that butter was not healthy for you and would cause cancer.  Not long after that, the same reporter said margarine causes cancer so it was better to use butter.  Is this not confusing?  So which does a person use? Butter or margarine? I guess the best option is to use neither, but if you had to pick one which would it be? Neither is good and then neither is bad, yet both cause cancer.  Guess what? So do a lot of other things in life if used excessively and not responsibly, but why is it we have to label just one thing as a root cause?

           

            Why should my scenario or the things that affect me be the same scenario and things that affect another person? We did not come from the same background.  We did not have the same exact experience (unless that person was in head in which case I feel obligated to say…I’m sorry :P), but nothing is ever the same. Why does society  feel the need to control the ending response on everything?  I understand medical research to finding the same solution for different people with illness, but  why can we not just accept some things are never going to have one resolution no matter how hard we try and no matter how much money we throw at the research for it. Fair warning….do you really want to know every detailed interworking of what makes me who I am today, at this one very moment knowing very well that things will change in the next hour, minute, second, etc.?  Go ahead and study all you want because by the time you have an answer we will have to go through the research again because your answer ultimately just changed from my experience with you.

            As for this entry……

Maybe I tolerate too much of people thinking they know everything and I am jealous or maybe I wish people would just stop over analyzing things to stop and smell the roses.  It could be financially related to the idea that people spend way too much money on research that is nonsense when it could be used towards something more productive.  Maybe, just maybe, I would like to know that someone out there agrees with the idea that maybe there is no one answer to any problem as we all take a different path that may intertwine with others whom we get to travel with on the same path for a while until we branch off again in another direction. 

            With the idea of video games in mind….stay safe along your path.  Make sure to gather what you need and jump over your obstacles to get to the end because keep in mind that you did not get there the same way someone else did.