How Six Minutes Can Affect Your Life Part 2: Fear

As you read in my previous entry, I jumped out of plane and dove to the ground.  Blatantly put it sounds scary.  I actually questioned myself on thoughts of fear before my jump wondering if this was the reason of my pursuit.  I told people it was a reason for my pursuit considering some of the traumatic episodes in my life and now I wonder if it was the real reason or if I was just kidding myself.

Fear defines a person.  What type of fear and how a person handles that fear reflects upon the individual's personality.  Is this person going to take risks?  Does this person know he/she is doing?  Should this person be trusted?  What challenges can this person handle?

Some days I get this feeling that I am not afraid of anything.  Part of that is that I am too curious about things to just let them pass me by.  What I know I am afraid of is the unknown.  I was nervous, a bit afraid, of not knowing how my skydiving experience would play out.  I am scared of people because I cannot control their behavior leaving it hard for me to trust them.

Even though I have a bit of fear, maybe less than the next person, I realize I have to embrace it.  Many people just let it hold them back.  One thing that crossed my mind before my jump was the risk of death. Someone also asked me if this was something I was afraid of.  I was not afraid to die, should that have happened.  Eventually I will die.  I cannot live forever, thank goodness, but death is not a fear that should stop a person from trying new things.

A couple days after my jump a part of me felt scared.  I was scared to return to my life, which at the moment felt worthless because of the monotony.  I was scared of the people I would have to face because there are some people I do not want to encounter anymore as they leech off my life, lie to my face, and then kiss ass to other thinking their personal worth will increase.  Those types of people drain me and dealing with them is frustrating, so fear, in this case, develops a new meaning of exhaustion.

I guess I face fear every day.  I wake up, I go to work, I come home to do school work, and I could be missing something.  So as much as I grasp the concept of fear, I do not have the typical fears, like death defying feats.  I seem to fear the opposite, boredom.  Now the fear I have to face is what is my next big defeat. ;-)


"Sometimes you have to stop being scared and just go for it.  Either it'll work or it won't.  That's life." ~ Higher Perspective

The moment I stopped being scared and just went for it.  Photos by "Mr. Blue" at Skydive Fargo.