The Scary side of Independence

Independence.....
      
    It is the strong feeling of being able to hold your own or being able to do things on your own.

Independence......
     
      It is intimidating to those who are insecure.


I am a very independent person.  I take care of myself, I make sure I have everything I need, and I make sure that I cover my own bum so no one else has to cover it.  Recently I bought a car.  Actually I bought an SUV.  I did the homework on the vehicle to find exactly what I wanted.  I contacted two different dealerships to assist in finding the vehicle I wanted.  Once my vehicle  was found I made sure I received a decent price for the package I was getting.  Yes, I haggled my way through it and I am VERY proud of myself for that because I stood up for what I wanted.  In the end I got my vehicle that I wanted, plus some, and made an incredible impression on the salesman, who yes I will admit was a sweetheart.

One thing accomplished.  My next goal this month was to join the roller derby team.  My first practice ended with a minorly twisted knee, but I know my strength in pain.  Now, as long as the kneed is braced I am fully ready to rumble.  This idea scared me a bit.  People know I am a bit "weird," "crazy," and if not "insane."  This is a step above that where I could actually physically get hurt.  Translation: Be bold, be daring, and do not be scared to jump in the deep end of the pool every once in awhile.

My third accomplishment was to start my own Mary Kay business.  I have liked Mary Kay prior, but always thought it was a traditional pyramid career.  Well, if you listen to the logic it is, but there is more to it than that.  There is opportunity and the concept of working as a team to accomplish goals.  I may not be extremely rich in the next year or two off this, but I know I will enjoy bringing smiles on beautiful colorful faces.

I am proud of my independence.  I have worked hard to have it, to loose it, and to regain it. Part of this is staying true to yourself.  This means that if something needs to be said, you say it and follow through.  For me, the hard part is the follow through.  I have this tendency of going back to the bad.  Let me give you a picture, a bit gross, but dramatic for understanding purposes.  My personality would find a sick animal and try to nurse it to life only to be told over and over that the animal is actually dead.  So I realize this in my mind, but still hope it will come alive so I go back to the animal with the same disappointment as before.  Like I said gross, but you understand.  Being able to walk away knowing the truth is independent.

My list above is intimidating to quite a list of people.  I do not understand why, but it is.  I learned to walk on my own two feet and be proud of it when others do not understand and want to knock me off my knees.  Does my independence scare?  Yes.  Is it meant to? Not really.  I'm just surviving like the next guy and hopefully someday there can be someone by my side who can compete and challenge that independence more than I can myself.