Have you ever watched a movie or a show only to look at your watch and wonder where the time went? I actually used to wonder this when I was younger. It was amazing to me how time could fly so quickly and how so much could happen in a show in that time period. Did you know that a day, a week, and years can pass right before your eyes in one hour? I remember telling my mom not to worry during her mystery shows when it came time for the solution to present itself because "a lot can happen in five minutes." It still can and even in real live.
Tonight I spent time with friends, friends I am close to, and friends who I trust. I learned that I still after the trauma in my life have a lot to learn about myself and how I need to listen to myself. Before my ex I was able to see people clearly. I was able to tell if a person was lying, telling the truth, and sometimes it was almost as if I had a psychic moment with that person. I know you are wondering where this is going. Well, I remember a feeling inside questioning what I was doing with my ex when all he wanted to do was hurt me.
I remember he would separate me from other things in his life like work or his friends. I remember he had deleted me as a friend off his social network. I know these may appear small, but they are actually clues like the bread crumbs from Hansel and Gretal that lead to an answer. That answer is lies and deceit. Questions ran through my head. Why would you delete your wife from your friends list unless you had something to hide from her? Why would you keep a person you deem special separate from the rest of your life unless you did not want others to run into her or information to be exchanged?
My socializing brought me to a deja vu moment, on that I am worried I have yet to repeat again. When you are the opposite of a Tin Man you hope for the best in people not knowing that the best could actually be the worst in a human. I had a friend who I wanted to believe held truths like this until this person acted like my ex. Let's just say I learned a lot in a short amount of time about this person.
"You merged my work and personal live together. I wanted to keep my work friends separate from my other friends."
Sounds a bit weird if not awkward.
"I hid everything on {my social network} because I just want to be able to play the games."
What if I told you that was something my ex said........word for word?
"Those are just little things and you are making such a big deal out of them."
To those of you who will read this let me cue you in on a lesson about people that most will never understand. The little things ARE a big deal because they hold the most value and control over the big things. Hiding someone in different ways separate from other things is a way of lying and hiding who you really are.
Let me give you an example of the small things that make a big difference. A man remembers it is Valentine's Day and decides to send roses to his significant other. She is happy and swooning because it is a touch gesture for the man to be romantic. Another man thinks of his significant other randomly and decides to send flowers because it would make her smile for that day. So which do you think had the biggest impact? The obligation or thoughtful gesture?
They are both nice, but I personally am more partial to the second situation. Why? A person should not have to be obligated to show a feeling or an emotion to another person because that person thinks it is required, but more so because that person wants to do the deed. The second gesture puts the other person first.
So beyond my ranting of putting others first what did I learn tonight? I know how to pick out a liar, follow my intuition, be strong enough to refocus, third time is a charm, and ........fat girls do not make much money stripping if they cannot not shake the goods properly. LOL
Peace out everyone. Good night. Pray my insomnia does not take over my whole night. :)
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