This week I have come across many topics that I want
to talk about. There are different ways
to discuss topics or get them out. There
is talking, texting, emailing, or my favorite of writing.
“You must often make erasures if you mean to write
what is worthy of being read a second time; and don't labor for the admiration
of the crowd, but be content with a few choice readers.”
--Horace
I know my writing can be confusing to most, thinking
that maybe I am negative or even twisted.
The words I like to use are passionate and dramatic.
I have a passionate side because anything in my life
right now I have earned and fought hard for in order to survive. All I want is to inspire someone or even help
them improve.
My dramatic side is a side of conflict that gets
misinterpreted as something negative whereas it is sometimes a self defense
mechanism. I imagined a scene this week
at Walmart running into someone I do not hope to ever see again. There were
different versions of the scene, but each one was the same in that I was strong
and I faced my fear since this person is the epitome of all my fears. It took hours for me to snap back to reality,
but I realized that I could not do anything until the I actually came across
this person.
One of my biggest fears is wondering if I have a
future in writing. I have heard many
opinions, especially on my blog here and I always wonder if I am doing the
"write" thing. I have had a person tell me to delete this because
they did not like while on the other hand I have had a person tell me to keep
it up because it is meant to be read. I
left it because each and every word here on this webpage exists forever, so it
is not as if I can rid all information I have written.
So I think of some of the things I have been taught
in my writing class and the quote from above gave me some hope today. When I write, I have a purpose, I use
specific words, and I try to make sure that what I am writing is a worthy piece
of writing. What I need to remember in
my first-born child thinking of a perfectionist is that I am not perfect and I
do not need the support or opinion of everyone to be the same for me. I just need a quality opinion from a person
who I deem is worthy of reading my quality writing.
When you think about it, I think I might have found
the sword to help me battle my fear and win in the end. As for the other fears I might need to find a
different solution or hit boot camp for my strength in my Walmart
scenario....yes, that was meant a bit sarcastically.
Sleep well everyone.
Whenever I write, I first and foremost write for myself. It is very nerve-wracking to share my work out of fear that it will be criticized and torn apart, especially if the person doing so is not someone I trust. I am finally coming to grips that no matter what I write, no matter how good it is, I will have my detractors and there is nothing I can do except ignore them.
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