Self-preserving apathy

Apathy: 
          -Adsence or suppression of passion, emotion, or excitement
          -Lack of interest in or concern for things that others find moving or exciting.
          -Freedom from emotion of any kind.
Self-preservation:
          -preservation of oneself from harm or destruction



Recently a friend gave me these two words.  I had not really heard too much about them or at least the first one.  I recently stopped caring about a lot of things and people.  I want to know why a person should waste time on something or someone that would not waste the same amount of time on said person?  I can see investing into something that has potential, but if you know something is not going to last then why bother?

This sounds cold, I am fully aware of it, but I guess I am a bit more cautious where I invest time, effort, or even money these days.  For instance, if you disappear from a person's life and that person does not notice why would you sit and pray that person notices you are missing or why would you bother that person trying to gain the person's attention?  If the person does not want to give you attention do you not think you are worth more than that person's ignorance?

So what if a person, who has ignored you for sometime, comes back to your life deciding you are worth that person's time, why would give the person a chance to let you down again?  How do you tell someone, "I'm sorry, I do not care about you, I do not want to know you, and if you disappear it will not make any difference in my life at all"?  That is the coldest thing I have ever heard in my life.  Actually it is the coldest thing I have thought of and typed.

Sometimes you have to grow up and prioritize what is important in your life.  Is it important for me to wallow and wait for this person to miss me or is it important for this person to compete and try to hurt me? On both occasions I would like to say "no."  Life should be an enjoyable experience.  I know there are tough times, but you can also learn from mistakes enough to not walk the same road twice, right?

In the midst of making a mindful worthwhile choice I delete any emotion and move on.  Life is too good to waste on a rotten egg anyway.