Deception.....and strength

Deception: To be false to

Strength: The quality or state of being strong


I know you must be thinking 1 of 2 things on here. 1) That is a weird start 2)Um ok????  I have recently found out that the two walk hand in hand.  I don't know about the rest of you, but I have been taught not to lie.  I have also been taught that if you make a promise you are to keep it, but I also learned a new lesson thanks to one of my cousins. 

When I was younger I felt that some of my family members 'shunned' me (my sister and brother) because we were a result of a divorce.  I have always tried to keep my Christian faith, but it has been hard considering most people who declared themselves 'Christian' were very judgmental or hypocritical.  If I remember correctly in this religion Jesus is the only one who should judge because he is without sin.  As far as the hypocritical people, well you are human, should practice what you preach by being an example, but I forgive you.  I try not to be in either of these categories and keep an open mind.  My cousin told me something that actually lifted a weight off my shoulders.  Even though I am the child of divorced parents it is not for me to worry about divorce because there is forgiveness and I needed to learn to forgive my parents and the whole situation.

I talked to my cousin more that night about life and to be honest it was the most enlightening conversation I had in a long time.  I cried while I typed her because she was going to forgive me for something that I did not want to do, something I had been raised not to do, but something that if I didn't do it could kill me inside and maybe out.  You see people do not deserve to be lied to or cheated on, and like I said a promise is a promise. 

A lie does not hurt just one person, but it does keep growing and growing like they show in 'Veggie Tales.'  There is no getting rid of it and by the time you think you can, how does a person know that you are not just going to 'cry wolf?'  I have been battling with these thoughts for a couple weeks now (hence not many entries lately).  I'm trying to figure out the thinking in a process such as this.  Why would you want to hurt someone in such a way that in the end you are ultimately just going to hurt yourself?  You can't win a war like this.  There is a reason that in the end of a story good always triumphs over evil.

I just pray for strength, a little hope, and maybe some faith that could potentially heal.  If you have any input or advice please feel free to comment.  I just pray to find my way in a lost world right now.



Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow, or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always. 
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you the most,
you have not been ther for me?"

The Lord replied,
"The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints,
is when I carried you."